The EGO: Is it the Enemy to a Person on the Spiritual Path?

‘Cause I gonna make you see,
there is nobody else here,
no one like me.
I’m special, so special!
I gotta have some of your attention,
give it to me!
(Pretenders, Brass in Pocket)



“Ego” is a word with a different meaning in psychology than in spiritual communities. Psychologists refer to the ‘I’ experience as an institution that can become aware of our biases and conditioning. We spiritual folks think of the ego as a wrench in the spiritual path; an interference that prevents us from experiencing what lies ‘Beyond’.

A spiritual path is essentially the re-wiring of our experienced nature. Over the years the appreciation of what is meaningful to us changes. We are encouraged to enjoy the magnificence of the “I” just as before but we are shown how our life story fits in the greater good. The Course in Miracles differentiates grandeur from grandiosity, the contrast of a miracle-minded lifestyle and ego delusion. Along a spiritual path we are asked to develop our talents. We are shown how to live a life of purpose, of giving, of helping others, of shining the light for them. Purpose merges with passion. We do not have to give up anything that is meaningful to us, we just have to be open to be stripped of everything that is holding us back on our spiritual quest.

The transition from being ‘I’-centered to walking a higher path can be a tough transition, but it doesn’t have to be. As it turns out, our spiritual aspirations are not quite as kosher as we want them to be. Our craving to be special is very clever. Our ego is especially happy to put on spiritual clothes. Even the craving for enlightenment, for being a hermit, for sexual abstinence, for being a guru to others, can be an ego craving in disguise.

These days it takes more than just being sexually attractive; we also have to be perceived as kind and considerate; we need to have earnings potential or power. We must be considered ‘cool’ in one way or another. We crave to be somebody. We don’t want to be just a body, we want to be looked up to, celebrated, and considered to be cool. Our ego will put a nice story together to make us feel special, and will perhaps even make it sound spiritual. And once we know that we are special in our eyes and that of others, we feel alive.

Please don’t fool yourself and just say, ‘I must not have these cravings’. Being special is a driving force of life. When we lose this ego motivation, when we lose our mojo so to speak, life loses all its charm, spice and sexiness. When our ego gets hurt and feels this absence, life becomes colorless, depressing and meaningless. This ego is us, until the day when we can leave these cravings behind like a worn-out skin. Yet, until this blessed day arrives we have to accept what makes our blood boil.

It took me a long time to understand that by fighting our cravings to be special, we are messing with our life force. There is no need for this whatsoever. Life holds all the answers for us and they come when we are ready to hear them. We can keep our mojo while enjoying a meaningful life at the same time.

I hope you understand that after this insight you already have made it!

You do not need to wait for enlightenment to begin your life. All you have to do is to express your passions and let spirit show you how to steer in a purposeful direction. Suddenly life’s many problems and obstacles no longer stand in the way of your happiness; suddenly they becomes messengers and signs to put you on the right path instead. You do not have to sacrifice anything; abundance is yours to enjoy, just learn what exactly it is that you want.

The Bhagavad Gita as well as Christianity encourage us to put our heart and soul into our work and the services we supply to others. There is only one requirement to spiritual success, we have to let go of all kind of expectations to get something in return. Ironically, our spiritual path takes care of us and showers us with care and attention that our narrow-minded ego never could have fathomed.

 

Let’s face life with an open mind and a loving heart and see what is coming our way.

 

About the Author:  Christian M. Wiese discovered a wonderful force—the Way—while working in the busy world of financial markets. He shared his ten year Awakening journey in his two books, ‘The Magnificent Experiment’ and ‘The Way of the Meister’. Today, Christian works as author, educator and spiritual coach in Massachusetts, USA.You can follow his work and connect with him at www.christianmwiese.com

The Greatest Catalyst for Awakening is………… (explained by Adyashanti)

To think that enlightenment only comes through wonderful experiences is to delude yourself. Yes, there are those cases where someone has a spontaneous awakening, and he or she doesn’t have a lot of karmic tendencies to see through. But that is rare. For most of us, the path to enlightenment is not rosy. We need to acknowledge this, because otherwise we’re only going to let ourselves travel toward that which feels good, that which supports our image of what the path of awakening should be.

“The greatest [catalyst for awakening] is found within our lives—the fabric of our existence, the grit of what’s actually happening in our everyday experience. I find that this is often overlooked within the context of spirituality. Many of us are using our spirituality as a way to avoid life, to avoid seeing things we really need to see, to avoid being confronted with our own misunderstandings and illusions.

It is very important to know that life itself is often our greatest teacher. Life is full of grace—sometimes it’s wonderful grace, beautiful grace, moments of bliss and happiness and joy, and sometimes it’s fierce grace, like illness, losing a job, losing someone we love, or a divorce, etc.

Life itself has a tremendous capacity to show us truth, to wake us up. And yet, many of us avoid this thing called life, even as it is attempting to wake us up. The divine itself is life in motion. The divine is using the situations of our lives to accomplish its own awakening, and many times it takes the difficult situations to wake us up.

The irony is that most human beings spend their lives avoiding painful situations. Not that we are successful, but we are always trying to avoid pain. We have an unconscious belief that our greatest growth in consciousness and awareness comes through beautiful moments. We may, indeed, make great leaps in consciousness through beautiful moments, but I’d say that most people make their greatest leaps in consciousness in the difficult times.

This is something a lot of people don’t want to acknowledge—that our greatest difficulties, suffering, and pain are a form of fierce grace. They are potent and important components of our awakening, if we’re ready for them. If we’re ready to turn and face them, we can see and receive the gifts that they have to offer—even if the gifts sometimes feel like they are being forced upon us.

Everybody has their own ways in which life is attempting to hold up a mirror, to squeeze the conditioned self out of us, to squeeze out of us the holding and grasping, to squeeze out all of our beliefs and ideas and concepts and self-images.

If we are willing to look, we will see that life is always in the process of waking us up. When we are not willing to see what life is trying to show us, it will keep ramping up the intensity until we are willing to see what we need to see. In this way, life itself is our greatest ally. It is almost a spiritual cliché to say that life is your greatest teacher. Students nod as if they know what that means. But we can only know what it means when we have been through it, when we have allowed ourselves to have life hold a mirror up, so we can see ourselves clearly.

To think that enlightenment only comes through wonderful experiences is to delude yourself. Yes, there are those cases where someone has a spontaneous awakening, and he or she doesn’t have a lot of karmic tendencies to see through. But that is rare. For most of us, the path to enlightenment is not rosy. We need to acknowledge this, because otherwise we’re only going to let ourselves travel toward that which feels good, that which supports our image of what the path of awakening should be.

For most people, the path of awakening does have wonderful moments, profound moments and realizations. But it is also a gritty thing. It’s not what most people sign up for when they say they want to be enlightened. The truth of the matter is that most people who say they want awakening don’t actually want to awaken. They want their version of awakening. What they actually want is to be really happy in their dream state. [“dreaming to be awake” – Gurdjieff]. And that’s okay, if that’s as far as they’ve evolved.

But the real, sincere impulse toward enlightenment is something that goes far beyond the desire to make our dream state better. It is an impulse that is willing to subject itself to whatever is needed in order to wake up. The authentic impulse toward enlightenment is that internal prayer asking for whatever it is that will bring us to a full awakening, no matter whether it turns out to be wonderful or terrible. It is an impulse that puts no conditions on what we have to go through.

This authentic impulse can be a bit frightening, because when you feel it, you know it is real. When you have let go of all conditions—when you have let go of how you want your own awakening to be and what you want the journey to be like—you have let go of your illusion of control.

In fact, we have to be willing to lose our whole world. That may sound romantic when you first hear it—“Oh, yes, let me sign up! I’m willing to lose my whole world.” But when your whole world starts to crumble, and you start to emerge from unimaginably deep states of denial, it is something altogether different. It is something altogether more real and gritty. It’s something that some people sign up for and some people don’t. [But] we don’t need to have any image about what it is going to take to awaken.

What you have to be willing to do is to encounter yourself and to face your own uncertainty. But how many of us want to let go into uncertainty, into the unknown, into the uncontrollable?

This isn’t a journey about becoming something. This is about unbecoming who we are not, about undeceiving ourselves. And so one of the most important steps is to come into agreement with your life so that you’re not turning away from yourself in any way. And the amazing thing is that when we are no longer turning away from ourselves, we find a great amount of energy, a great capacity for clarity and wisdom, and we start to see everything we need to see.”

~ Adyashanti, The End of Your World

Source: The End of Your World: Uncensored Straight Talk on the Nature of Enlightenment

Found on: https://veilofreality.com/

Reigniting The Childhood Spirit – Soul Discovery

As a child, we are more absorbed in the present moment and so our intuitive instincts dictate how we act. Our intuition communicates through our feelings, which serve as important signals. Naturally then, unrestricted by time, we are driven down the path of highest excitement, to creatively pursue our individuality and so become engaged in the process of manifesting our highest potential.

Written by Sam Igneous @ Soul Discovery 

Click Here to View Original Article

During childhood, we are in our least conditioned state. The subconscious mind is still accumulating its largest proportion of stimuli, which becomes a primary driving force for our behavior in later life. The conditioned mind functions according to the demands of the ego. The ego operates according to the external world, preoccupied with past and future states. As a child, we are more absorbed in the present moment and so our intuitive instincts dictate how we act. Our intuition communicates through our feelings, which serve as important signals. Naturally then, unrestricted by time, we are driven down the path of highest excitement, to creatively pursue our individuality and so become engaged in the process of manifesting our highest potential.

Even when connected to the present moment, a child can still utilize their conscious mind in a constructive way. This comes through utilization of the imagination, but not as a form of escapism. When we become lost in abstractions or trapped by the future, the ability to create now is hindered. As a child, however, we imagine a reality in our minds as if it were real and we bring the accompanying feelings back to the present moment. We start to live as though we are already the person we want to become. These feelings are what give children the innate motivational spirit to play, explore and create and this state of being is much more influential than the specific images conjured up by the imagination.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” ~ Albert Einstein

As we get older, we are taught that these dreams hold no basis in reality and so we adopt belief systems that limit what we are capable of achieving. Paradoxically, the older we get, the more out of touch we actually become with reality. Our dreams as a child were telling us something about what type of person we could become. When we lock them away, we live within confined possibility, following life like a deterministic script. This is an unfortunate byproduct of a competitive, materialistic society, which functions according to external dictates. We start to feel as though we will be judged if we step outside the status quo and, in fear of being ostracized, we may accommodate to a life of conformity and obedience, compromising the expression of our true individuality. This resistance against the self begins to build up within us. We become highly repressed individuals and may project this subconscious trauma on to others, as well creating inner turmoil, which manifests on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels.

The way we were nurtured by our parents in the critical early years of our development, bears a huge impact on our behavioral temperaments in later life (Bowlby, 1969) (1). It is particularly important that a child has his/her basic physical, social and emotional needs tended to by a primary caregiver. Without sufficient nourishment, a child is likely to develop insecure personality patterns, which can manifest as two extremes: The first type, the anxious/ambivalent type, is often characterized by overcompensating in an attempt to gain the caregivers affection, as a result of their neglect and/or abuse. The second type, the anxious/avoidant type, is characterized by withdrawal and indifference, as a result of the caregivers neglect and/or abuse. These become prototypes for later relationships (Bowlby, 1969).

Anxious/ambivalent: (Joyce Catlett, M.A.) (2)

“Children who have an ambivalent/anxious attachment often grow up to have preoccupied attachment patterns. As adults, they are self-critical and insecure. They seek approval and reassurance from others, yet this never relieves their self-doubt. In their relationships, deep-seated feelings that they are going to be rejected make them worried and not trusting. This drives them to act clingy and overly dependent with their partner. These people’s lives are not balanced: their insecurity leaves them turned against themselves and emotionally desperate in their relationships.

Adults with preoccupied attachment patterns are usually self-critical, insecure and desperate, often assuming the role of the “pursuer” in a relationship. They possess positive views of other people, especially their parents and their partner, and generally have a negative view of themselves.”

Anxious/avoidant: (Joyce Catlett, M.A.) (3)

“People who formed an avoidant attachment to their parent or parents while growing up try to steer clear of emotional closeness and intimacy in their new relationships. They tend to feel uncomfortable with physical contact and attempt to limit affectionate and sexual exchanges with their partner in order to maintain a more comfortable or “safe” distance in the relationship. They value the friendship aspects of a relationship, but look down on romantic love, passion, commitment, and satisfaction.  Other adults identified as “avoidant/dismissing” are loners; they prefer isolation and are primarily interested in practical matters.

When faced with threats of separation or loss, many “dismissing” men and women are able to focus their attention on other issues and goals. Others tend to withdraw and attempt to cope with the threat on their own.  They deny their vulnerability and use repression to manage emotions that are aroused in situations that activate their attachment needs.”

Though this Attachment Theory (Bowlby, 1969) is recognised in mainstream academia, it fails to address the deeper ramifications of insufficient parenting, beyond the evolutionary paradigm. A child who is nurtured and loved sufficiently in the womb (and beyond), will develop much more than the the capacity for survival. Providing the parent is not too strict or smothering and doesn’t try to mould the child to their own expectations, they will have the secure base they need, from which to more freely explore the world, nurture their individuality/creativity and forge deep and meaningful relationships, free from unresolved, internalised conflicts. There are many other environmental factors to consider, some of which may interfere with this process, as well as the vital component of free will, but having this foundation in place sets a child off on a strong foot.

There are complete exceptions to the rule also. Some children, as a result of childhood mistreatment or neglect, are actually propelled to look deeper at reality, in an attempt to rationalize their suffering.  This may come during an act of rebellion and/or during a period of intense emotional trauma, during which time a lot can be discovered about the self. Nevertheless, any unresolved conflicts still remain internalized within the self and will need to be addressed at some point. There are various ways to tackle the shadow and release past traumas (refer to section 3 on the website: Confronting The Shadow).  Sometimes, when we are bought up sheltered and stable, we may not have the need to venture out of this perceived comfort zone.

As well as our early upbringing, the education systems hugely shapes a child’s future. Indoctrination into the education system further curtails our imagination and restricts critical thinking. Children become more inhibited from freely exercising their unique skills and creative drive, as they move through the school system. Instead, we see a situation where holistic learning is fragmented into separate subjects, producing standardized material, where the ability to conform, memorize and repeat is rewarded. Attempts to look at reality deeper, question the status quo, or connect with one’s individuality, on other hand, are punished. This negative conditioning, through punishment, creates in us a state of learned helplessness. In such a passive state, we fear breaking the rules, because we know the consequences are detrimental. Students are then encouraged to narrow down their focus to the prescribed parameters of one subject area and then to take up further study at university to study this in greater detail. This further compromises the ability to view reality holistically and expand awareness beyond the confined restrictions of society.

“For a small child there is no division between playing and learning; between the things he or she does just for fun and things that are educational. The child learns while living and any part of living that is enjoyable is also play.
~ Penelope Leach

Though we can’t expect to abandon responsibility and commitments completely, we can learn to apply the creative mind into our daily lives, as much as possible. We can turn our lives into a work of art, through various expressions. The best way to rekindle the childhood spirit is to find what most excites us in every moment, and practice it to the best of our ability. We can learn to master this state of being in any environment we find ourselves in, by absorbing ourselves right into each moment and releasing preoccupation of our minds from worry and regret. We mustn’t expect that the future is set in stone. If we learn to release attachment, new possibilities emerge that we couldn’t predict. As long as we fear the unknown, we will seek physical security. This attachment to survival compromises the growth of spirit, which thrives on the exploration of consciousness and expansion through creativity.  This far surpasses anything material. As a child, the concept of time and death were not embedded in our reality. Fear did not drive our actions. This default mode of existence can teach us a lot to apply into our lives now.

References: 

(1) Bowlby J. (1969). Attachment. Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Loss. New York: Basic Books.

(2) Catlett, J., (n.d.). Understanding anxious attachment- part 1: Ambivalent/anxious attachment. Retrieved from http://www.psychalive.org/understanding-ambivalent-anxious-attachment/

(3) Catlett, J., (n.d.). Understanding anxious attachment- part 2: Avoidant/anxious attachment. Retrieved from http://www.psychalive.org/anxious-avoidant-attachment/

Original Article: Reigniting The Childhood Spirit — Soul Discovery

Website: Soul Discovery

Psychopaths in Power – The Elephant in the Living Room

There is one topic that stands like the proverbial elephant in our collective living room, still unacknowledged, ignored or misunderstood by many people. It’s the underlying issue for our society and world’s problems. This is the topic of Psychopathy, especially Psychopaths in places of power and how it affects our world and society at large. More and more research and studies have been published that prove the existence of this intra-species predator, yet it still is being avoided and not sincerely studied and looked at by many well-meaning people who work actively trying to make this world a better place. They focus on the symptoms, but not the underlying causes.

By Bernhard Guenther, February 7th, 2014

There is one topic that stands like the proverbial elephant in our collective living room, still unacknowledged, ignored or misunderstood by many people. It’s the underlying issue for our society and world’s problems. This is the topic of Psychopathy, especially Psychopaths in places of power and how it affects our world and society at large. More and more research and studies have been published that prove the existence of this intra-species predator, yet it still  is being avoided and not sincerely studied and looked at by many well-meaning people who work actively trying to make this world a better place. They focus on the symptoms, but not the underlying causes.

A couple of weeks ago I attended a talk in Topanga Canyon by Marianne Williamson who is running for congress. I was reluctant to go, knowing about the futility to change the political system through the system. I’ve written about it before: “Voting, Cognitive Dissonance and Fear of the Unknown”  as well as “The Illusion of Choice“. However, considering that I like some of her past work and we have shown a clip of her talk at a festival in our film “Love, Reality, and the Time of Transition” I decided to see what she had to say.

In her talk she made some good points, in particular about the necessity to do conscious work within and without, not shutting off from the world but actively engaging in creating change and facing our world problems head on. Much of what she said reflected what she talked about  at “Lightning in a Bottle” in 2011, mentioned above. However, since she’s officially running for congress her tone has changed a bit and she seemed to have taken on some typical political lingo in an effort to win support for her campaign.

Anyone who still believes that we live in a democracy in the true sense of its meaning lives in a bubble of denial and wishful thinking. Williamson appears to agree with this since stressed that our democracy is at risk. However, there is a lot of wishful thinking about trying to do this through the system itself. For example, assuming that the majority of people could ever have an influence on law making and presidential elections given the way our society and institutions are controlled, in particular the press and education, it’s just too easy to manipulate the people’s choices and opinions. It’s an example of Stockholm Syndrome writ large. In fact, “democracy” is the perfect tool or “cover” to control people, giving them the illusion of free choice on a base level (like voting for your congress representative) but it’s ‘grid-lock’ at higher levels of power, a two-party system where decisions have already been made before any voter gets to ‘vote’ on them. Ironically, Williamson also acknowledged that we need to get away from this two-party system, but she did not address any topics that are actually at the root of this set-up.

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The moment a political candidate brings up trigger/taboo topics, like questioning the official story of 9/11 or looking at Zionism and Psychopathy and how it influences US and world politics, his/her political career is over. In any true democratic society these topics would be discussed openly with all the critical thinking, facts and historical content, and especially at town hall meetings, but it’s all being suppressed, ignored and ridiculed. The result is that many people have opinions on these topics without having sincerely researched them in un-biased way. Williamson discussed the usual topics like many progressive/independent candidates have done before: Climate change, education, incarceration, economy, military industrial complex, health care, social security, etc……and that’s all well and good, but those issues are still symptoms of deeper problems that she did not fully acknowledge and doesn’t seem to be aware as we’ll see later. In the words of the late George Carlin:

“I think the system contracts and expands as it wants to. It accommodates these changes. I think the civil rights movement was an accommodation on the part of those who own the country. I think they see where their self-interest lies. They see a certain amount of freedom seems good, an illusion of liberty. Give these people a voting day every year so that they’ll have the illusion of meaningless choice… meaningless choice that we go like slaves and say, “Yeah, I voted.”

The limits of debate in this country are established before the debate even begins and everyone else is marginalized and made to seem either to be communists or some sort of disloyal person, a “kook”- there’s a word- and now it’s “conspiracy”, see? They’ve made that something that should not even be entertained for a minute; that powerful people might get together and have a plan. Doesn’t happen, you’re a kook, you’re a conspiracy buff!”

Some well-meaning people who go into politics raise some good points but still avoid issues that need to be addressed if we truly want change. Such is the dire state of open and honest social discourse in the US that, even meager attempts at honesty get shut down eventually and ignored. Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich come to mind. No change is going to happen through the system because if you don’t play by the rules and act “politically correct”, you don’t even get to play and the only way to “win” is to align with a world view that is pathological at its core for the simple reason that the world is run by psychopaths.

ElephantInTheLivingRoom2

Williamson mentioned that we have an oligarchy, true, but it there is more to it. Fact is we live in a PathocracyDefinition: A system of government created by a small pathological minority that takes control over a society of normal people. A totalitarian form of government in which absolute political power is held by a psychopathic elite, and their effect on the people is such that the entire society is ruled and motivated by purely pathological values. A pathocracy can take many forms and can insinuate itself covertly into any seemingly just system or ideology. As such it can masquerade under the guise of a democracy or theocracy as well as more openly oppressive regimes.

While most people focus on the symptoms, the underlying root cause of Psychopathology and how it affects society at large is ignored, denied or misunderstood. After Marianna Williamson’s talk I asked her if she’s aware of the topic of Psychopathy. See for yourself how she reacted and note how telling the reaction of the audience was:

I knew asking this question would raise some eyebrows but I sincerely did not expect the whole audience to break into spontaneous laughter at the mere mention of psychopaths in power.Notice also Williamson’s dismissive body language after I used that term: she smirked, looked at floor and fed the audience’s amusement about a topic that no one there had any understanding of.

So why the laughter? Well, maybe some people who are uncomfortable with this topic react with laughter to defuse the tension. But to me it sounded like, and more importantly felt like (being there) they laughed because they truly found it funny as if it’s a ridiculous thing to even assume that people in power could be psychopaths.  Lambs to the slaughter.

It reminded me of this:

“One phenomenon all ponerogenic groups and associations have in common is the fact that their members lose (or have already lost) the capacity to perceive pathological individuals as such, interpreting their behavior in fascinated, heroic, or melodramatic ways. When the habits of subconscious selection and substitution of thought-data spread to the macrosocial level, a society tends to develop contempt for factual criticism and to humiliate anyone sounding an alarm.”

– Andrew M. Lobaczewski, Political Ponerology

It was interesting to experience for sure. Considering that the audience was basically filled with Marianne Williamson fans because of her work as a spiritual teacher, one would imagine that these people would be more aware and conscious of such topics. But that is another issue all together. I noticed that many of her supporters tend to automatically agree with anything she says, put her on a pedestal and dare not question anything she says, simply because she IS Marianne Williamson, the cherished well-known spiritual teacher and author who has been on Oprah no less!

But her reaction and what she said afterwards showed more of her own ignorance and lack of critical thinking. Let’s look at some of the things she said:

She says that “any person or system who doesn’t exercise from a place of remorse or with conscience is a sociopath. We have a so-called sociopathic economic system where conscience and remorse don’t play any part but short-term economic gain.”

Right away she uses the term sociopath and puts the focus on the system. But that’s not what I was talking about. There is a difference between a sociopath and a psychopath. What most people think as sociopaths are actually psychopaths. Yes, “conscience and remorse don’t play any part” in our system but it’s interesting to see how some people shy away from the term Psychopath or even laugh about it. Why is that? It seems related to the cultural conditioned view that psychopaths are insane serial killers we see in the movies or prisons, but would never appear in a suit and tie with the picture-perfect wife and family, speaking eloquently with confidence and inspiration, having power over a whole nation. Think again.

“Too many people hold the idea that psychopaths are essentially killers or convicts. The general public hasn’t been educated to see beyond the social stereotypes to understand that psychopaths can be entrepreneurs, politicians, CEOs and other successful individuals who may never see the inside of a prison….Psychopaths have what it takes to defraud and bilk others: They are fast-talking, charming, self-assured, at ease in social situations, cool under pressure, unfazed by the possibility of being found out, and totally ruthless. The psychopath can actually put themselves inside your skin intellectually, not emotionally. They can tell what you’re thinking, in a sense, they can look at your body language, they listen to what you’re saying, but what they don’t really do is feel what you feel. What this allows them to do is to use the words to manipulate and con and interact with you, without the baggage of this ‘I really feel your pain’ ”

– Dr. Robert Hare, Without Conscience

Dr. Hare also addresses the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath:

“For most people, the confusion and uncertainty surrounding this subject begin with the word psychopathy itself. Literally it means “mental illness” (from psyche, “mind”; and pathos, “disease”), and this is the meaning of the term still found in some dictionaries. The confusion is compounded by the media use of the term as the equivalent of “insane” or “crazy”….

Most clinicians and researchers don’t use the term in this way; they know that psychopathy cannot be understood in terms of traditional views of mental illness. Psychopaths are not disoriented or out of touch with reality, nor do they experience the delusions, hallucinations, or intense subjective distress that characterize most other mental disorders. Unlike psychotic individuals, psychopaths are rational and aware of what they are doing and why. Their behavior is the result of choice, freely exercised….

Many researchers, clinicians, and writers use the terms psychopath and sociopath interchangeably…. Sometimes the term sociopathy is used because it is less likely than is psychopathy to be confused with psychoticism or insanity….

In many cases the choice of term reflects the user’s views on the origins and determinants of the clinical syndrome or disorder described in this book. Thus, some clinicians and researchers—as well as most sociologists and criminologists—who believe that the syndrome is forged entirely by social forces and early experiences prefer the term sociopath, whereas those—including this writer—who feel that psychological, biological, and genetic factors also contribute to development of the syndrome generally use the term psychopath. The same individual therefore could be diagnosed as a sociopath by one expert and as a psychopath by another.”

In another book co-authored by Dr. Hare with Dr. Paul Babiak called Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work, they compare psychopathy, sociopathy, and antisocial personality disorder APD:

“Many people are confused about the differences among psychopathy, sociopathy, and antisocial personality disorder. Although the terms frequently are treated as if they are interchangeable—by the general public and professionals alike—they refer to related but not identical conditions.

Psychopathy is a personality disorder described by the personality traits and behaviors that form the basis of this book. Psychopaths are without conscience and incapable of empathy, guilt, or loyalty to anyone but themselves.

Sociopathy is not a formal psychiatric condition. It refers to patterns of attitudes and behaviors that are considered antisocial and criminal by society at large, but are seen as normal or necessary by the subculture or social environment in which they developed. Sociopaths may have a well-developed conscience and a normal capacity for empathy, guilt and loyalty, but their sense of right and wrong is based on the norms and expectations of their subculture or group. Many criminals might be described as sociopaths.

Antisocial personality disorder (APD) is a broad diagnostic category found in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition (DSM-IV). Antisocial and criminal behaviors play a major role in its definition and, in this sense, APD is similar to sociopathy. Some of those with APD are psychopaths, but many are not. The difference between psychopathy and antisocial personality disorder is that the former includes personality traits such as lack of empathy, grandiosity, and shallow emotion that are not necessary for a diagnosis of APD. APD is three or four times more common than psychopathy in the general population and in prisons. The prevalence of those we would describe as sociopathic is unknown but likely considerably higher than that of APD.”

Sociopaths do have some empathy and a sense of guilt—a conscience—but their empathy is reduced and selective, related to their upbringing and sub-cultural environment. A psychopath has no empathy and conscience at all. They can act and say all the right things, lie and manipulate without any inner conflict or emotions, immune to guilt, remorse and compassion.

Most importantly what I was hinting at in my question to Marianne Williamson is related to psychopaths based on biological/genetic factors as described in the work of the researchers I mentioned. It’s not a psychological disposition based on trauma or childhood wounds but a genetic one. These individuals can’t be “healed”, comprise at least 6% of humanity and are often to be found in positions of power. This is hard for most people to accept and understandably so considering all the cultural, religious and spiritual/new age programming and corruption that posits “we are all one” meme. This also has nothing to do with “us vs. them” in  the way some people like to argue, but about understanding how complex humanity actually is, what we choose to believe and wish for based on assumptions and what we avoid to look at and confront, within and without.

Let’s look deeper into the characteristics of a psychopath. As mentioned above there are born psychopaths, people who have no conscience/empathy by birth. However normal people can become ponerized, meaning they take on psychopathological traits through upbringing and conditioning, trying to adapt to a pathological society that has lost the capacity to perceive pathological individuals as such. It means that the person or group can no longer make the distinction between healthy and pathological thought processes and logic. One is no longer able to draw a line between correct thinking and deviate thinking. Genetic psychopaths make up about 6% of humanity while ponerization has a much higher number.

A lot of psychopathological traits have become normalized in human societies. Billions of people have been fed psychopathic belief systems and world views as the “way of life” through media, government, religion, entertainment and education. Our culture puts a lot of emphasis on image, status and appearance. Psychopaths have actually personality traits that many common people aspire to. The untroubled self-confidence of the psychopath is very alluring and is generally what “normal” people seek to acquire when they attend assertiveness/motivational or “pick up/dating” training classes. Likeable, Charming, Intelligent, Alert, Impressive, Confidence-inspiring, and A great success with the ladies: These are the sorts of descriptions repeatedly used by Cleckley in his case-studies of psychopaths, The Mask of Sanity

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The psychopath’s Mask of Sanity is very important to understand. It gives him the cover to roam freely in our society, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Realizing early on life that he’s different from the rest, the psychopath learns to mimic emotional states and expressions without feeling them himself one bit. Without any internal conflict of guilt, remorse or shame, the psychopath manipulates the people around him. He can tell you exactly what you want to hear, appear compassionate and the good ones have a very convincing mask that is hard to see through. I takes time and a lot of observation. Psychopaths can be very intelligent with a high IQs. They can write scholarly works, imitate the words of emotion, but over time, it becomes clear that their words do not match their actions.

“Imagine – if you can – not having a conscience, none at all, no feelings of guilt or remorse no matter what you do, no limiting sense of concern for the well-being of strangers, friends, or even family members. Imagine no struggles with shame, not a single one in your whole life, no matter what kind of selfish, lazy, harmful, or immoral action you had taken.

And pretend that the concept of responsibility is unknown to you, except as a burden others seem to accept without question, like gullible fools.

Now add to this strange fantasy the ability to conceal from other people that your psychological makeup is radically different from theirs. Since everyone simply assumes that conscience is universal among human beings, hiding the fact that you are conscience-free is nearly effortless.

You are not held back from any of your desires by guilt or shame, and you are never confronted by others for your cold-bloodedness. The ice water in your veins is so bizarre, so completely outside of their personal experience, that they seldom even guess at your condition.

In other words, you are completely free of internal restraints, and your unhampered liberty to do just as you please, with no pangs of conscience, is conveniently invisible to the world.

You can do anything at all, and still your strange advantage over the majority of people, who are kept in line by their consciences will most likely remain undiscovered.

How will you live your life?

What will you do with your huge and secret advantage, and with the corresponding handicap of other people (conscience)?

The answer will depend largely on just what your desires happen to be, because people are not all the same. Even the profoundly unscrupulous are not all the same. Some people – whether they have a conscience or not – favor the ease of inertia, while others are filled with dreams and wild ambitions. Some human beings are brilliant and talented, some are dull-witted, and most, conscience or not, are somewhere in between. There are violent people and nonviolent ones, individuals who are motivated by blood lust and those who have no such appetites. […]

Provided you are not forcibly stopped, you can do anything at all.

If you are born at the right time, with some access to family fortune, and you have a special talent for whipping up other people’s hatred and sense of deprivation, you can arrange to kill large numbers of unsuspecting people. With enough money, you can accomplish this from far away, and you can sit back safely and watch in satisfaction. […]

Crazy and frightening – and real, in about 4 percent of the population….”

– Martha Stout, Ph.D.

The key point is what Dr. Stout said here: Now add to this strange fantasy the ability to conceal from other people that your psychological makeup is radically different from theirs. Since everyone simply assumes that conscience is universal among human beings, hiding the fact that you are conscience-free is nearly effortless.

Most people assume that every human being essentially has a conscience or can change and become compassionate and empathetic. People tend to project positive qualities into some individuals which they don’t inherently have. We assume that the people in power, our (s)elected leaders, have the same conscience and emotions as we all do. Some people say that everyone has just issues and childhood wounds to work through on some level, even people in power, or as someone told me after Marianne Williamson’s talk when the topic of Psychopathy came up: “We are all psychopathic to varying degrees.”. Yes, sure, we all “issues”, but this is very different from having no conscience period. Not many people actually truly understand what we’re talking about here, they’ve never really studied the topic, yet they have opinions on it and can even laugh out loud about it in public.

It’s the basic logical fallacy, putting ones logic (conclusion) before grammar (research). Coupled with cognitive dissonance, since the acceptance of the truth could potentially upset one’s whole view of life and identified beliefs, the denial rate is still very high when it comes to this topic.

So much emphasis is put on immediate solutions, a new “system” of government or “fixing” the system, focusing on the education system, environment or trying to bring ethics back to Washington as M. Williamson stated.  Solutions are being presented but the problem itself, the root, is not even being understood in a basic way, not even considered.

Many “conscious” people who identify themselves with the “left”, liberal/progressive movement, politically or otherwise, seem to avoid looking at the nature of evil and understanding how societies are turned from something mutually beneficial and cooperative into virtual slave camps for the benefit of a few. “Good intentions” that are emotionally driven and based on wishful thinking do more harm than good, especially in the long run.

Nothing will change fundamentally until we educate ourselves about psychopathy and political ponerology and how it affects all of us. The virus of psychopathy will infect any new system, community or change in power until it is brought to awareness and looked at for what it is. Then the solutions will present themselves based on the knowledge and understanding we have gained. Educating ourselves and others about it is the best we can do for ourselves and future generations. It is vital knowledge in this day and age.

psychopaths

Going back to Marianne Williamson after her misinterpretation of the term “Psychopath”, she brought into focus the so-called sociopathic economic system, stressing that: “we don’t want a system where anybody purports to say that somebody else is a psychopath and therefore does not belong in office….let me tell you something, people like Hitler talked that way….this cannot be about demonizing individuals….this is about holding systems accountable….we wanna be real careful of anything psychological  ‘you are unfit for anything’ based on somebody’s psychological appraisal. Evil has been perpetrated  based on that……so the conversation is a conversation valid, absolutely….but in terms of individuals you wanna stay away from that.”

There are several fallacies in Williamson’s thinking here, chief among which is the fact that she engaged in a strawman argument, a common logical fallacy that politicians tend to use in order to distract or avoid answering questions directly.

Strawman argument, definition: “You misrepresented someone’s argument to make it easier to attack. By exaggerating, misrepresenting, or just completely fabricating someone’s argument, it’s much easier to present your own position as being reasonable, but this kind of dishonesty serves to undermine honest rational debate.”

I asked her if she’s aware of the topic of psychopathy and the research that has come out over the past years, which proves that there is a type of human being who has no conscience by birth and who gravitates towards positions of power, which results in a ponerized society.  The implications of psychopaths in high political office or as CEOs of big corporations and how they affect our society and world are self-evident and disturbing for anyone to see who understands this subject.

Yet she immediately diverted away from my point and focused on the system. Clearly Williamson is not aware of the deeper issues of psychopathy, which isn’t a problem per se, but in that case, she should have had the humility to say, “Well that’s an interesting topic and I feel I’m triggered by the word “psychopath” but I’d be interested to learn more about it” or something along those lines. What is it with people and especially politicians to always have to have an answer and appear “knowledgeable” to the point of having opinions about topics they do not understand and distort/misinterpret as a result of it, consciously or not? Well we know why, it’s about image and authority, appearing confident, self-assured and strong to gain the confidence and trust of their voters and generate donations for their campaign….ironically these are some of the traits psychopaths have perfected as well (no, I’m not implying that M. Williamson is a psychopath). With Williamson’s background as a “spiritual teacher” you’d think she wouldn’t fall into this manipulative political lingo with all the logical fallacies that usually go along with it.

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She mentioned that it is about holding systems accountable but not demonizing individuals. This really makes no sense, since systems are created, used and abused by individuals. Focusing on fixing the system is like blaming a car because of a drunk driver is causing accidents. The same old mistake of focusing on the symptoms instead of getting at the root, a result of trying to present solutions too soon without having sincerely explored what the “problem” is to begin with. The system cannot be fixed. It has been designed that way since the get-go, but we’ve been living under these political systems and governments for so long that we don’t even question them anymore, but accept them like in a global Stockholm Syndrome, idealizing them and not seeing reality for what it is. We are so conditioned and programmed that we don’t even question the need of a “government” to begin with. Those that are given the opportunity to do so, seem to experience some kind of brain freeze that prevents them from really considering that question deeply.

Most people are afraid of the “chaos” that they believe would ensure if there were no government or authority to ‘lead’ them, which is ultimately rooted in the fear of true freedom and taking responsibility. The reality is that governments and power in the hands of a few are the reason our ‘modern’ society is descending further and further into the chaos that so many fear. Many people ask, well what “solution” do you have then? Looking at the world as it IS is the first step before presenting any “solutions”. As Krishnamurti said: “It’s like trying to change the tapestry in a prison cell, believing this brings more freedom instead of breaking down the prison walls”, or like cutting the branches of a tree, which will grow back eventually. The root needs to be tackled and the root issue on a 3D level is psychopaths in power. A careful study of this topic and our (true) history shows this to be true, with little doubt.

“An Ideal is merely an escape, an avoidance of what is, a contradiction of what is. An ideal prevents direct action upon what is. To have peace, we will have to love, we will have to begin not to live an ideal life but to see things as they are and act upon them, transform them.”

– Krishnamurti

Williamson also used the word “demonizing” which is not what I implied and actually a very bad word to use in this context that also distorts the issue at hand, especially with her poor example of “Hitler has done that”. I find her lingo very manipulative, an attempt to get the audience on her side by distorting the main point. She basically misunderstood and twisted my main point, which would have been clear to her if she truly understood psychopathy and ponerology. Knowledge and Understanding of this topic can actually help us to prevent individuals like Hitler rising to power in the first place. And yes, some individuals are NOT fit to be in office or positions of power, where his/her decisions affect the life of millions, if not billions, of people. I think this should be fairly obvious.

For example anyone who wants to become a police officer has to pass a psychological screening. The psychological evaluation is part of the process of determining whether an applicant is suited for the position. Makes sense, no? We want to make sure that our police officers are mentally stable to be enforcers of the law. Of course, looking a the police brutality these days, one must wonder what kind of test this is and what laws are they enforcing, so mere “psychological screening” is not enough. What is their psychological screening based on anyway? Again, if the topic of psychopathy is not fully understood and applied in such “screenings” we have psychopaths and Authoritarian Followers with guns in their hands, authorized to shoot and arrest people at will, and with increasing impunity.

Now look at politics. Theoretically anyone with enough money, the right connections, image and a certain mind state ( playing the “game” with all the “political correctness” to hand) can become president of this country. There is zero psychological evaluation to become commander-in-chief who has the power over the biggest military force of the world. Doesn’t this strike you a bit as odd?

So, yes, I’d certainly advocate for psychological screenings, even brain scans. It is about individuals and NOT the system. It’s about people not ideologies. However, I agree that we need to be careful about it as Williamson said. Before we can get to any solutions and apply any such ideas, we need to educate ourselves and others about what we’re actually dealing with. Psychology and psychiatry has also become corrupted and that’s where the true danger lies when the system and the powers that be are using those disciplines for their own agenda.

Gaining Knowledge, which leads to Understanding needs to happen first, educating ourselves first before coming to conclusions and then act on the understanding gained and presenting solutions. It’s the basic application of the Trivium and critical thinking which I’ve written about before.

Trivium

Williamson also mentioned  that “Evil has been perpetrated  based on [somebody’s psychological appraisal]”. Yes, sure lots of evil is perpetrated through the corruption of science – including psychology – because of psychopaths in power. But again, she’s got it all backwards because she starts from a misinterpretation of the actual issue due to her lack of knowledge, and comes to conclusions based on assumptions.

First of all, what is “evil”? At least she seems to acknowledge that there is evil and doesn’t fall into the abstract and pseudo-spiritual idea that there is “no evil” on our level of existence as so many people tend to do based on Solipsism, a very illusory ideology in todays “New Age” movement. Solipsism is based on the idea that there is “no truth”, a topic I have explored in more depth before.

© Mark Passio
© Mark Passio

Polish psychiatrist Andrew Lobaczewski coined the word Ponerology. It comes from greek (poneros = evil) and is the study of evil. From the foreword of Lobaczewski’s groundbreaking work “Political Ponerology”:

“Ponerology reveals itself to be a new branch of science born out of historical need and the most recent accomplishments of medicine and psychology. In light of objective naturalistic language, it studies the causal components and processes of the genesis of evil, regardless of the latter’s social scope. We may attempt to analyze these ponerogenic processes which have given rise to human injustice, armed with proper knowledge, particularly in the area of psychopathology. Again and again, as the reader will discover, in such a study, we meet with the effects of pathological factors whose carriers are people characterized by some degree of various psychological deviations or defects.”

To truly understand the significance of his work, it is important to know the history of how this book came about because Lobaczewski went through a lot of suffering and sacrifice to get this material published. There have been many attempts to destroy his work.

“The original manuscript of this book went into the furnace minutes before a secret police raid in Communist Poland. The second copy, painfully reassembled by scientists working under impossible conditions of violence and repression, was sent via courier to the Vatican. Its receipt was never acknowledged – the manuscript and all valuable data lost.

He was forced to emigrate to the United States in 1977. Even in America, he continued to find himself hounded by forces that opposed him. But he struggled on, finally finishing the manuscript for the third version of the book, including what he was able to reconstruct without access to the lost original research, in New York in 1984.

This manuscript was met with suppression. In a particularly fascinating episode,  Zbigniew Brzezinski, famed political scientist and former National Security Advisor under President Jimmy Carter, first offered to help get it published, but then, instead, worked to oppose its publication. Ultimately, Lobaczewski was unable to get the book published while he was in the United States. In 1990, he returned to Poland quite ill and rather destitute and only survived at all due to care provided by old friends who were doctors.”

He was finally able to publish his book. After half a century of suppression, this book has finally become available.

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And here we see another problem. Vital knowledge and research that could help humanity as a whole has been suppressed and even destroyed by pathological individuals in power throughout history. The information in this book is important for anyone to be aware of, so that we truly learn from history and understand the underlying root issue of why the world is as it is and why no true change is going to happen by trying to tackle the system and present solutions without scientific and objective knowledge of evil as a foundation to work from, from which the solutions will then emerge. It’s part of our ‘shadow work’, to make the darkness conscious within AND without.

“Know thy self, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories.” – Sun Tzu

The major theme of Lobaczewski’s book is that if world civilization is to survive and thrive it must learn how to deal with evil individuals who seek its destruction. It is essential that objective scientific studies continue be pursued in order that humanity may come to recognize evil when they see it and learn how to combat it. That’s the only way to re-install morality and ethics (as Williamson says her intention is). In fact, before we can talk about systems, this is where we need to start, and it requires much work and effort because the psychopaths in power are doing their best to suppress this knowledge. However, their Achilles heel is wishful thinking, believing themselves to be untouchable, even as they destroy themselves like a deadly virus that kills the host and essentially itself.

Instead of advocating and citing “A Course in Miracles” as Williamson is doing, almost using this very questionable channeled material as her foundation, she’d be better advised to lay that “teaching” aside and deal with objective reality and the scientific study of psychopathy, because she’s heading right into the center of the beast, or at least she’s trying.  I have read and studied “A Course in Miracles” and did all the exercises many years ago when I wasn’t very discerning. It took me a while until I saw the red flags and the mind control/self-hypnosis of this teaching (ultimately promoting Solipsism) and how it put me more to sleep,  all the while dreaming that I was awake. Even if there is some truth in it, but the best way to swallow a lie is to sandwich it between some truth. It’s the most efficient way to spread disinformation. There is also some interesting connection of the group who “channeled” this material to the CIA. And that ties into New Age Cointelpro.

We won’t see “Political Ponerology” or similar works being promoted on Oprah anytime soon. It’s up to us to actively seek out this knowledge and educate ourselves and others about it. This topic is imperative to understand for anyone involved in any “conscious movements” or anyone who is trying to make this world a better place for ourselves and future generations. It doesn’t matter what your work is and what medium of expression you choose, what party and religion you belong to and identify yourself with. Psychopathy and Ponerization affect all of us. Most importantly, don’t judge something or present solutions if you haven’t sincerely studied  it first.  Or, in the words of Andrew Lobaczewski: “Do not attempt to cure what you do not understand.”

If Marianne Williamson was sincere when she said  “the conversation is a conversation valid, absolute!” and earlier in her talk: “Until we deal with the cancer that underlies all these problems, until we deal with the underlying issue of all these problems, we will not be able to handle the derivative problems.” then I’d hope she’ll engage in some reading as well as those who supports her. The cancer eating away at humanity’s body is Psychopathy and the ponerization of human society. But this is not about her personally. She has good intentions, I suppose. This is about all of us coming to terms with and understanding a very serious and troubling issue our planet is facing, so we can have an intelligent conversation based on objective reality. The truth is the truth (not “my” or “your” truth) and no one said it would be easy or comfortable. The longer we avoid it, the harder it’ll get and the deeper we dig our own graves. Sorry to sound bleak, but disillusionment is part of the process. The universe is very impersonal when it comes to Truth. Either we align ourselves with it or we will perish.

Finally, I’ve heard many people stating that M. Williamson gives them hope…..similar to the way many people felt about Obama in 2008. But there is something to be said about “hope” as historian Richard M. Dolan said at the “Awake and Aware Conference” in LA in 2009:

“Hope and fear: Fear is an enemy. We know this because when we are afraid, we react irrationally to things, we don’t think through. Hope is an enemy, too, though. That sounds kind of wrong, doesn’t it? Everyone likes to have hope: Don’t give up hope. But, here’s the problem with hope: Hope also deludes. We need to have a cold eye. We have to be able to look at reality in as alert and awake a fashion as we can. What is true higher consciousness? Well, it starts with awareness, with seeing things as they are, not as you want them to be, not as you hope they can be – you have to see them as they are. It is only through going over that first large hurdle, I feel, that we can really attain a true higher consciousness, a true awareness in which we are awake, not asleep.”

Here are some good resources to start with:

Each Awakening Soul is Experiencing Their Own Personal Inner War

When a soul awakens to the truth that they are fully responsible for their vibration and quality of life and they fully understand through the “law of attraction” or “the law of cause and affect” that they can clean up the lower vibrations within their soul to attract the life of their dreams – they have the potential to become a very powerful, empowered, high vibrational being.

Written by Sabrina Reber

Your entire soul signature, your vibrational essence, your personal world is unique only to you based on your own personal vibrational frequency. You are a multidimensional being with a variety of vibrational frequencies floating around and within your energy fields at all times. These frequencies are an accumulation of your thoughts, feelings, emotions and beliefs you have created from your souls journey of many, many lifetimes. Although every soul is unique in its own vibrational essence….every soul is exposed to the exact same frequencies of love, fear, anger, joy, gratitude, empowerment, hate, victim consciousness, guilt, regret, happiness, bliss etc. Each souls level of vibrational frequency will be determined based on the quality of that souls focus of energy or state of consciousness.

When a soul awakens to the truth that they are fully responsible for their vibration and quality of life and they fully understand through the “law of attraction” or “the law of cause and affect” that they can clean up the lower vibrations within their soul to attract the life of their dreams – they have the potential to become a very powerful, empowered, high vibrational being. At this time on our planet large groups of people are in the transitional phase of soul alchemy where we have awakened to the fact that we must first descend into the muck of our repressed lower vibrational energies before we are able to ascend into greater states of being. Our planet is in flux right now as we turn our darkness into the golden light of our very own christ consciousness. Because of this, many of us are in a very vulnerable state of being where we are flip flopping from one vibration to another as we try to sustain a high vibrational balance in a very unbalanced world.

Each awakening soul is experiencing their own personal inner war at this time on our planet. Not only are we having to clean up the energy of our own souls, we are also having to witness the devastating, heart wrenching, “bring you to your knees” kind of soul purging our brothers and sisters are going through as well. Many people are still unaware of what is happening to them and they are stuck  in denial, blame and resistance. They do not understand, nor do they want to believe, that they are the ones responsible for their own heaven or hell here on Earth. They continue to remain in their victim consciousness, fight or flight mentality, and they are in the struggle of their egos duality. In order to ascend in consciousness and free themselves of the negative vibrations held within their ego consciousness – that will continue to draw more chaos into their lives – they will need to surrender their egos will to their divine will. They will need to rise above their physicality and begin the process of integrating their spiritual being into their physical being through the process of meditation.

Meditation is the key to accessing and integrating our higher consciousness vibrations. We can only go so far by reading spiritual information, going to church, eating a healthy diet, praying (speaking to God/dess), reciting bible verses or mantras etc. Eventually, we must choose to activate and receive the energy of God/dess by accessing the deeper levels of our subconscious minds. According to the Bible, Jesus tells us “Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you.” WE are Gods and Goddesses….WE are the ones we have been waiting for to create the change we desire. But because we have become so focused on the physical world, and we have placed layer upon layer of fearful vibrations within our consciousness, we have totally forgotten who we are – divine spiritual beings having a temporary human experience. When we use our own free will to stop looking externally of ourselves for God/dess and we go within our inner being, through the process of meditation, we will reopen the energetic pathways in our energy fields that have blocked us from knowing  that we are the God beings, we are the creators of our entire life experience. And it is the reconnection with our true self, our higher soul self or our God/dess self that will bring forth the changes we so desire to see in our world, and it is the personal responsibility of every single person on Earth to not only awaken to this truth, but to have a direct experience of this truth by attaining a state of energetic oneness within their beings.

This is our divine potential at this time on Earth. To become ONE with our higher souls so we can remove the veils of our limited, fear-filled, egoic minds and become so infused with our higher souls consciousness, that we FEEL our connection with The Creator Of All That Is. Part of this process requires us to awaken to the shadowy forces and agendas within our own consciousness, as well as, within the systems of this world. Our outer world is a reflection of our inner consciousness – “For once we were blind but now we see.” We must awaken to the inner forces within and without and not become attached to them. Our inner and outer worlds are in crisis right now because it is the time of transparency. What once was hidden from our conscious awareness is rising to the surface so it can be acknowledged and changed. We have the free will power to continue to energize and strengthen those vibrations within and without, that no longer serve us, or we can choose to transmute and transcend those vibrations into a higher vibration so we can birth the great transformation on Earth. Each person is responsible for birthing transformation from within their own beings before we will see it manifested in our outer realities. Heaven will be brought down to Earth – Heaven is a state of consciousness, and it must be activated and integrated into each one of us so it can be brought down from the spiritual dimensions within our beings into our physical bodies. In the Bible – Matthew 6:10, it says: “May your kingdom, come, may your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.” That is how powerful we are!

Because we are submersed in a group consciousness, those of us who have made great strides in our ascension process will need to be very careful of not getting pulled into the drama and chaos of our brothers and sisters as they slowly begin to awaken and ascend their consciousness into greater states of being. All of us who have been doing intense spiritual work for many years know of the great labor pains people will have to undergo as they slough off and release lifetimes of discordant energies so they can re-birth themselves. At this time on Earth, the LIGHT is magnified to such a high level we have massive groups of people awakening at an accelerated rate which is throwing everyone into fear. Those who are awakening, and those who have been awake for some time, are scattering their energy due to the rapidity of change that is occurring on our planet and in our lives. Because of this, it is important more than ever to take at least 10-15 minutes everyday to realign ourselves with our center through the process of meditation so we can infuse our physical beings with the spiritual energies we need to sustain the courage, strength and appropriate directions of our energies so we can remain steadfast on focusing on what we truly want to create for the New Earth.

ADDITIONAL TIPS FOR DIFFICULT TIMES:

1. Meditation/Communion with your higher soul: 10-15 minutes everyday will strengthen and align us with the higher vibrating energies within our energy fields. Our higher selves live in the spiritual dimensions inside our energy fields – in  order to access this part of ourselves, we need to spend quite time, slowing down our sympathetic nervous systems, so we can access the deeper parts of our subconscious minds where our true selves reside.

2. Gain knowledge about what is truly happening on Earth. Knowledge is power when it is used appropriately. However, when people begin to awaken to what is truly transpiring on Earth people tend to run into fear and the ego’s fear will distort the way we see, feel, behave and respond to our outer environments. Knowledge combined with a fearful, emotional vibration is DANGEROUS! Once light packets of information are released in our energy fields – to help us ascend in consciousness – meditation is imperative to help us infuse this knowledge with the LOVE from our higher selves. Without daily meditation and access to the higher dimensions within ourselves, knowledge can easily be tainted and distorted by our fear where we will tend to manipulate and take away other people’s free will by trying to exert our egos control over them.

3. Do not allow anything that interferes with your vision for the New Earth to enter into your consciousness. Everyone is on different levels of processing through their fears so if you see something on the news, on a Facebook feed etc. that disrupts your ability to remain focused on what you truly desire to create in the New Earth then remove your attention from it and re-focus on what you truly desire to see. Some people have processed through their fear and they are able to read and see things that are occurring without having an emotional reaction to it. However, most people have not accomplished the ability to do this. Many are completely unable to remain compassionately detached. When we can be in this world, but not of it then we will have attained a very high level of alignment and we will be able to SEE this world through the eyes of God/dess and be totally neutral about everything going on. However, most of us are still affected by the negativity on Earth – so it would be in our best interests to solely focus on the things that sustain and continue to evolve our vibrations into greater states of love. The more sensitive you are, the more you will need to withdraw yourself from all things that do not increase your light. A great guidance system for this is to pay attention to your emotions. Wherever your emotions are…..there is your vibration. Are you really focused on what you truly want?

4. Understand that everything that is happening serves the purpose for people to awaken and to know themselves better. We are vibrationally attracting beings….we create it all. If it is in your personal world, it is there for YOU to learn something so YOU can evolve and heal your soul into greater states of being. If it is not in your personal world, then YOU have not attracted it to you to experience. Outer events you see on the news, stories on Facebook etc. are not yours to experience and process through unless you use your free will to become attached to the stories  “out there,”  which of course will now begin to affect your personal world as well. During these times of “screaming and the gnashing of the teeth,” it is best for us to pull our energy in – literally see your self pulling your consciousness/your energy away from anything outside of your self and pulling it in to create an auric egg around your self. During these heightened times of chaos, you may want to pull your energy in every morning and every evening before you go to bed.

5. State a prayer for the Earth and humanity everyday. It could be a prayer for healing such as “The Violet Flame,” or  “The Great Invocation” or you could create one you have a personal connection with as well. The important thing is to pray from your heart. Don’t just repeat a bunch of words but really mean what you say…..feel it. Here is one I say at the end of my meditations:

“Creator of All That Is, I ask for the Earth and all beings to rise in vibration of unconditional love, joy, peace, health, healing, unity consciousness and abundance for all. I ask for you to please send down beings of the highest christ light to all areas on Earth, in all time frames and all dimensions, that are in chaos and fear. I ask for these beings of light to please transmute all negative energies of fear into their highest expression of love, and I ask for the divine plan to be fulfilled on Earth with ease and grace. Thank you, it is done.”

6. Remain focused on your own inner work. What does all the fear and chaos bring up for you. What are your triggers? What is being revealed to you? Where are you aligned – stuck in the egos victim consciousness or the higher souls empowered consciousness to create change? What is being reflected to you in the outer environment that you are in denial about in your own life? Are you more focused on the outer projections and what is happening out there or are you tuned into your inner being and FEELING what is happening within you? Ask yourself throughout the day- “Am I aligned with my ego’s will or my divine will? Does this thought, relationship, conversation, activity, emotion increase my light or diminish it? Right now…. am I helping increase the Earth’s vibration or am I lowering it?

7. Remain Grounded! When we are grounded our soul remains in our body fully present, in the NOW moment, to what is occurring in our lives. When we are present, we are able to fully feel our feelings so they can be released freely. If we become ungrounded and we allow our soul to fly out of our body – because we don’t want to experience a negative interaction, we end up storing our negative emotions in a deal with later folder in our energy fields. These unprocessed energies will block the flow of spiritual life force energies from being able to flow unobstructed in our being which will also distort clear intuitive communications with our higher soul. In addition, when we are ungrounded we become reactive and we also leave space in our physical bodies for lower life form energies to invade our consciousness.  Click here for an article explaining what grounding is and how to accomplish it.

8. The Raise Your Vibration book is also a wonderful tool to have on hand when you fall out of alignment. There are sections that will help you realize when you have aligned your self with your ego and your shadow consciousness. There are also meditation tips and meditation exercises to help you move through these transformative times. It is also a light coded book to activate “light packets of information” within you that will help you awaken, step into your power and activate your souls mission to assist in the creation of The New Earth.  Click Here For More Information.

Original Article: Each Awakening Soul is Experiencing Their Own Personal Inner War That is Being Reflected in The Outer World

The Theory of POSITIVE DISINTEGRATION

Contrary to mainstream psychology which tries to adjust the individual to society and its norms(especially through anti-depressants or any other mood-influencing pharamceuticals), viewing depression as an “illness”, from the perspective of the Theory of Positive Disintegration, it is a “good” sign if one is getting maladjusted to society, seeing it as potential for higher integration and values (non ego-centric).

Written by Bernhard Guenther, Original Source: Positive Disintegration

Kazimierz Dabrowski is a Polish psychiatrist and psychologist, who developed the Theory of Positive Disintegration (TPD). The Theory of Positive Disintegration is a novel approach to personality development.

What  is very interesting about this model is how similar it is to certain esoteric teachings, such as Gurdjeff’s Fourth Way, Mouravieff’s Gnosis (Esoteric Christianity) among others as well ancient Shamanism (not to be confused with medicine plant ceremonies but a way of life/being) with the intention to work on embodying (“growing”) the true individualized soul, the real “I”. Dabrowski sees crisis such as depression or maladjustment to  social norms (disillusionment) as important stepping stones and potential for integrated personality development.

Contrary to mainstream psychology which tries to adjust the individual to society and its norms(especially through anti-depressants or any other mood-influencing pharamceuticals), viewing depression as an “illness”, from the perspective of the Theory of Positive Disintegration, it is a “good” sign if one is  getting maladjusted to society, seeing it as potential for higher integration and values (non ego-centric). Certain generic New Age  “teachings” also merely avoid the aspect of positive Disintegration  through denial and distorted understanding of negative emotions (such as  just focus on the “positive”, avoid anything “negative”, etc….) which ties into Spiritual Bypassing.

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

– Jiddu Krishnamurti

The various levels of Disintegration and Integration as defined by Dabrowski can be compared to the Staircase of esoteric evolution and the moral bankruptcy (Mouravieff, Gnosis), i.e. disillusionment man experiences when his old conditioned self conflicts with the emerging (true) individuality (soul/essence). Just like Gurdjieff and other teachers of esoteric self-work, Dabrowski saw the “average” man on Level I as a mechanical robot-like being who simply exists based on lower impulses and programs as dictated/conditioned by society and “official culture”, living in a reactionary and mechanical state of external stimuli and influences under the illusion of free will. No true individuality nor true free will can be formed on that level.

Certain people (children and adults) who experience so called overexcitability (OE) have the potential to grow out of the lower levels and integrate their being into the higher ones. However, as transmitted via the aforementioned esoteric teachings, Darbrowski also points out that this process requires conscious work and it doesn’t  happen by itself. In other words, if one does not use the “shocks” of disillusionment to further one’s soul evolution to gain Self-Awareness and invite the alchemical fire within for transmutation one will  stay at the lower level where most of humanity exists, mechanically and reactionary, feeding one’s little ego “I’s” based on conditioning and programming, existing in a sleepwalking state, dreaming to be awake.


A Brief Overview Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration

www.positivedisintegration.com

Four seminal quotes set the stage:

1). “Personality: A self-aware, self-chosen, self-affirmed, and self-determined unity of essential individual psychic qualities. Personality as defined here appears at the level of secondary integration” (Dabrowski, 1972, p. 301).

2). “The propensity for changing one’s internal environment and the ability to influence positively the external environment indicate the capacity of the individual to develop. Almost as a rule, these factors are related to increased mental excitability, depressions, dissatisfaction with oneself, feelings of inferiority and guilt, states of anxiety, inhibitions, and ambivalences – all symptoms which the psychiatrist tends to label psychoneurotic. Given a definition of mental health as the development of the personality, we can say that all individuals who present active development in the direction of a higher level of personality (including most psychoneurotic patients) are mentally healthy” (Dabrowski, 1964, p. 112).

3). “Intense psychoneurotic processes are especially characteristic of accelerated development in its course towards the formation of personality. According to our theory accelerated psychic development is actually impossible without transition through processes of nervousness and psychoneuroses, without external and internal conflicts, without maladjustment to actual conditions in order to achieve adjustment to a higher level of values (to what ‘ought to be’), and without conflicts with lower level realities as a result of spontaneous or deliberate choice to strengthen the bond with reality of higher level” (Dabrowski, 1972, p. 220).

4). “Psychoneuroses ‘especially those of a higher level’ provide an opportunity to ‘take one’s life in one’s own hands’. They are expressive of a drive for psychic autonomy, especially moral autonomy, through transformation of a more or less primitively integrated structure. This is a process in which the individual himself becomes an active agent in his disintegration, and even breakdown. Thus the person finds a ‘cure’ for himself, not in the sense of a rehabilitation but rather in the sense of reaching a higher level than the one at which he was prior to disintegration. This occurs through a process of an education of oneself and of an inner psychic transformation. One of the main mechanisms of this process is a continual sense of looking into oneself as if from outside, followed by a conscious affirmation or negation of conditions and values in both the internal and external environments. Through the constant creation of himself, though the development of the inner psychic milieu and development of discriminating power with respect to both the inner and outer milieus – an individual goes through ever higher levels of ‘neuroses’ and at the same time through ever higher levels of universal development of his personality” (Dabrowski, 1972, p. 4).

These quotes capture the heart of Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration. The theory describes a process of personality development – the creation of a unique, individual personality.

Most people become socialized in their early family and school experiences. They largely accept the values and mores of society with little question and have no internal conflict in abiding by the basic tenents of society. In some cases, a person begins to notice and to imagine ‘higher possibilities’ in life. These disparities are driven by over excitability  (OE) – an intense reaction to, and experience of the day-to-day stimuli of life. Eventually, one’s perception of reality becomes differentiated into a hierarchy and all aspects of both external and internal life come to be evaluated on a vertical continuum of ‘lower versus higher.’ This experience often creates a series of deep and painful conflicts between lower, ‘habitual’ perceptions and reactions based on one’s heredity and environment (socialization) and higher, volitional ‘possibilities.’

In the developing individual, these conflicts may lead to disintegrations and psychoneuroses, for Dabrowski, hallmarks of advanced growth. Eventually, through the processes of advanced development and positive disintegration, one is able to develop control over one’s reactions and actions. Eventually, development culminates in the inhibition and extinction of lower levels of reality and behavior and their transcendence via the creation of a higher, autonomous and stable ideal self. The rote acceptance of social values yields to a critically examined and chosen hierarchy of values and aims that becomes a unique expression of the self — becoming one’s personality ideal.

Dabrowski acknowledged the strong and primitive influence of heredity (the first factor) and the robotic, dehumanizing (and de-individualizing) role of the social environment (the second factor). He also described a third factor of influence, a factor emerging from but surpassing heredity – “its activity is autonomous in relation to the first factor (hereditary) and the second (environmental) factor. It consists in a selective attitude with regard to the properties of one’s own character and temperament, as well as, to environmental influences” (Dabrowski, 1973, p. 80). The third factor is initially expressed when a person begins to resist their lower impulses and the habitual responses characteristic of socialization.

Emerging autonomy is reflected in conscious and volitional choices toward what a person perceives as ‘higher’ in their internal and external milieus. Over time, this ‘new’ conscious shaping of the personality comes to reflect an individual ‘personality ideal,’ an integrated hierarchy of values describing the sense of whom one wants to be and how one wants to live life. With the new freedom and force of the third factor, a person can see and avoid the lower in life and transcend to higher levels. The ‘ought to be’ of life can replace ‘the what is.’ It is important to realize that this is not simply an actualization of oneself as is; it involves tremendous conscious work in differentiating the higher and lower in the self and in moving away from lower selfish and egocentric goals toward an idealized image of how ‘you ought to be.’

The idealized self is consciously constructed based on both emotional and cognitive foundations. Emotion and cognition become integrated and are reflected in a new approach to life — feelings direct and shape ideas, goals and ideals, one’s ideals work to express one’s feelings. imagination is a critical component in this process — we can literally imagine how it ought to be and how could be in this establishes ideals to try to attain.

Initially, people who are acting on low impulses or who are simply robotically emulating society have little self conflict. Most conflicts are external. During development, the clash between one’s actual behavior and environment and one’s imagined ideals creates a great deal of internal conflict. This conflict literally motivates the individual to resolve the situation, ideally by inhibiting those aspects he or she considers lower and by accentuating those aspects he or she considers higher. At the highest levels, there is a new harmony of thought, emotion and action that eliminates internal conflict. The individual is behaving in accord with their own personality ideal and consciously derived value structure and therefore feels no internal conflict. Often a person’s external focus shifts to ‘making the world a better place.’

In describing development, Dabrowski elaborated five levels occurring in three basic phases. The first stage, Level I, involves an integrated but lower level expression of hereditary and social forces. Dabrowski referred to this as a unilevel or primary level. The individual experiences little inner conflict and is initially, largely unaware of the ‘higher possibilities of life.’ Phase two is characterized by the process of disintegration and psychoneuroses are common features of these levels (Levels II, III and IV). The familiar security of habit is shattered by doubts as the person comes to discover higher levels in life. The lower versus higher continuum signals a shift to the multilevel experience of life (Levels III and IV). The third phase, Level V, is the highest level, second integration, characterized by the expression of one’s unique and autonomous personality.

Abstract 

Dabrowski  presents a theory of personality development based on a multilevel,  hierarchical view of life. The theory suggests individual developmental  potentials are important factors in determining the course of  personality growth. Developmental potential includes three aspects;  special talents and abilities, a physiological measure of neural  reactivity Dabrowski called overexcitability (OE) and a factor  describing an inner motivation to develop. Individuals  with strong developmental potential tend to experience frequent and  intense crises (positive disintegrations) that create opportunities for  the development of an autonomous, self-crafted personality. Dabrowski observed that gifted and creative populations tend to exhibit  increased levels of developmental potential and thus may be predisposed  to experience the process of positive disintegration. While recent work  has focussed on the link between overexcitability and giftedness,  developmental potential and giftedness are not synonymous, indeed, many  (most) with developmental potential will not be classified as gifted,  and many gifted will display little overall developmental potential. A  brief overview of Dabrowski’s theory and its relevance for gifted  individuals are presented.

Paper

Kazimierz  Dabrowski (1902 – 1980) advanced a theory of individual personality  development based on a progression from an initial, lower integration,  through a sequence of disintegrations, culminating in a second, higher  integration. Dabrowski called his work the Theory of Positive Disintegration to reflect the central and positive role disintegration plays in development. He believed that some individuals are predisposed to experience life more intensely and this predisposes  them to frequent and severe crisis. This heightened sensitivity is based  on genetic characteristics Dabrowski called developmental potential.  The presence of increased sensitivity combined with crises  (disintegration) represent an increased opportunity to develop to  advanced levels of personality. 

In his research, Dabrowski  found that gifted and creative individuals tend to exhibit higher  levels of developmental potential and therefore are predicted to  experience increased disintegration and personality growth. This is the  basis of recent applications of the theory to the gifted.  This paper will discuss Dabrowski’s basic ideas and apply his theory to  the gifted.

Dabrowski observed that most people live their lives in a state of primitive integration guided by biological impulses (first factor) and/or by uncritical adherence to social convention (second factor). He called this initial integration Level I. Creative expression at Level I is influenced and constrained by these first two factors. First factor tends to channel giftedness and talents toward accomplishing self-serving goals.Often  these talents are used in antisocial ways. For example, many criminals  display this selfish creativity in the service of advancing their goals  at the expense of others. The second  factor constrains individual creativity by encouraging a group view of  life and discouraging unique thought and expression. Second factor  shapes creativity into forms that follow and support the existing social  milieu.

Dabrowski also described a group of people who  display an individualized developmental pathway. These people break away from an automatic, socialized view of life (what Dabrowski called  “negative adjustment”) and move into a series of disintegrations. If  development continues, people go on to develop an individualized,  conscious and critically evaluated hierarchical value structure (called  “positive adjustment”). The hierarchy of values comes to act as a  benchmark by which all things are seen and the higher values in the  hierarchy direct behavior. These higher, individual values characterize a  second integration reflecting individual autonomy. At this level, each  person develops his or her own vision of how life ought to be. This  higher level is associated with strong individual approaches to problem  solving and creativity. Giftedness and  creativity are applied in the service of these higher individual values and visions of how life could be. The individual expresses his or her  talents energetically, through action, though art, through social  change, etc. 

Advanced development is often seen in people  who exhibit strong developmental potential. Developmental potential  represents a constellation of genetic features, expressed and mediated  through environmental interaction, that consist of three major aspects: overexcitability (OE), specific abilities and talents, and a strong drive toward autonomous growth, a feature Dabrowski called the third factor.

The  most evident and perhaps most fundamental aspect of developmental  potential is overexcitability (OE), a heightened physiological  experience of sensory stimuli resulting from increased neuronal sensitivities.  The greater the OE, the more intense the sensory experience of life. In  short, the individual is more sensitive to experiences in life.  Dabrowski presented five forms of OE: psychomotor, sensual, imaginational, intellectual and emotional. These  overexcitabilities, especially the latter three, often cause a person  to experience daily life more intensely and to feel the extremes of the  joys and sorrows of life profoundly. Dabrowski found that heightened  overexcitability in groups of gifted and creative individuals  demonstrated their intense sensual experiences. Combined with  imaginational and intellectual OE, create a rich source of creative  material. Additionally, psychomotor and emotional OE often provide  strong stamina and motivation, often expressed in “bouts” of intense work and creativity. 

Although based in the nervous system, overexcitabilities are expressed  psychologically through the development of structures that reflect the  emerging self. The most important of these conceptualizations are  dynamisms: biological or mental forces that control behavior and its  development. “Instincts, drives, and intellectual processes combined  with emotions are dynamisms” (Dabrowski, 1972, p. 294). With advanced  development, dynamisms increasingly reflect movement toward autonomy.  The second arm of developmental potential, specific abilities and  talents, tends to serve the individual’s developmental level. As  outlined, individuals at lower levels use talents to support egocentric  goals or to climb the social and corporate ladders. At higher levels,  specific talents and abilities become an important force as they are  channelled by the individual’s value hierarchy into expressing and achieving the person’s vision of his or her ideal personality and his or  her view of what “ought to be” in the world. 

The third  aspect of developmental potential, the third factor, is a drive towards  individual growth and autonomy. Third factor is important in creativity  for two reasons: first, it directs talents and creativity toward  autonomous expression, and second, it provides motivation to strive for  more – to try to imagine and achieve goals currently beyond the  individual’s grasp.

The first and fifth levels are characterized  by psychological integration, harmony and little inner conflict. As  outlined above, the first level is called primitive or primary  integration and consists of people who show either prominent First  Factor (“heredity” / impulse) and/or Second Factor (“social  environment”). The majority of people at Level I are integrated at the environmental or social level (Dabrowski called them “average” people):  however, many also exhibit shades of both impulse and socialization.Dabrowski distinguished the two subgroups of Level I by degree, “the  state of primary integration is a state contrary to mental health. A  fairly high degree of primary integration is present in the average  person; a very high degree of primary integration is present in the  psychopath” (Dabrowski, 1964, p. 121). (see note three).

Levels II, III and IV describe various levels and types of disintegration. The character of Level II is reflected in its name: Unilevel Disintegration.  The prominent feature of this level is an initial, brief, and often  intense crisis or series of crises. Crises are spontaneous and only  occur on one level (and often involve only one dimension). “Unilevel  disintegration occurs during developmental crises such as puberty or menopause, in periods of difficulty in handling some stressful external  event, or under psychological and psychopathological conditions such as  nervousness and psychoneurosis. Unilevel disintegration consists of  processes on a single structural and emotional level; there is a prevalence of automatic dynamisms with only slight self-consciousness and self-control”  (Dabrowski, 1964, p. 6). Conflicts on the same level (horizontal)  produce ambitendencies and ambivalences: the person is pulled between  different but equivalent choices (ambitendencies) and is not able decide  what to do (ambivalence).

Ultimately, the individual is thrust into an  existential crisis: his or her social rationales no longer account for  his or her experiences and no alternate explanations exist. During this  phase, existential despair is the predominant emotion. The resolution of  this phase begins as individually chosen values are integrated into a  “new” hierarchy of personal values. These new values often conflict with  the person’s previous social values. Many  of the “status quo” explanations for the “way things are,’ learned  through education and from the social order, collapse under conscious,  individual scrutiny. This causes more conflicts focussed on the  individual’s analysis of his or her own reactions to the world at large  and of the behavior of others. Common behaviors and the ethics of the  prevailing social order become seen as inadequate, wrong or  hypocritical. “Positive maladjustment” prevails. For  Dabrowski, these crises represent a strong potential for development  toward personal growth and mental health. Using a positive definition,  mental health reflects more than social conformity: it involves a  careful, personal examination of the world and of one’s values leading to the development of an individual personality. 

The  expression of positive maladjustment can often be seen in both  individual creativity and in creative movements at this level. For  example, Cubism and Dadaism, with their chaotic forms are examples of  creativity expressing positive maladjustment — the rejection and  overthrow of the “standard views” of art and life.

Level II is a transitional period. Dabrowski said you either fall back, move ahead or end negatively, in suicide or psychosis. “Prolongation  of unilevel disintegration often leads to reintegration on a lower  level, to suicidal tendencies, or to psychosis” (Dabrowski, 1964, p. 7).

The transition from level II to level III involves a fundamental shift that requires a phenomenal amount of energy.  This period is the crossroads of development as from here one must  either progress or regress. The struggle between Dabrowski’s Factors  reflect this transitional crisis: “Do I follow my instincts (First  Factor), my teachings (Second Factor) or my heart (Third Factor)?” The  developmental answer is to transform one’s lower instincts (automatic  reactions like anger) into positive motivation, to resist rote, social  answers and to listen to one’s own, inner sense of “what you ought to  do.” 

Level III describes  the vertical conflicts caused by an involuntary perception of higher  versus lower choices in life (because it is involuntary, Dabrowski  called it spontaneous multilevel disintegration). Dabrowski called this  vertical dimension multilevelness. Multilevelness is a gradual  realization of the “possibility of the higher” (a phrase Dabrowski used  frequently) and of the subsequent contrasts between the higher and the  lower in life. These vertical comparisons often illustrate the lower,  actual behavior of a person in contrast to higher, imagined ideals and  alternate choices. When a person perceives the higher choice, it becomes  obvious that this is the path one ought to follow. When  the person’s actual behavior falls short of the ideal, disharmony and a  drive to review and reconstruct one’s life often follow. Multilevelness  thus represents a new and powerful type of conflict, a conflict that is  potentially developmental. 

These vertical conflicts are critical in leading to autonomy and advanced personality growth. If  the person is to achieve higher levels, the shift to multilevelness  must occur. If a person does not have the developmental potential to  move into a multilevel view, then they would fall back from the crises  of Level II to reintegrate at Level I.

In the shift to  multilevelness, the “horizontal” (unilevel), stimulus-response model of  life is replaced by a vertical and hierarchical analysis. This vertical  view becomes anchored by one’s emerging individual value structure and  all events are seen in relation to personal ideals. These personal value  ideals become the personality ideal: how the person wants to live his  or her life. As events in life are seen  in relation to this multilevel, vertical view, it becomes impossible to  support positions that favor the lower course when higher goals can be  identified (or imagined). 

In level IV the individual takes full control of his or her development. The involuntary spontaneous development of level III is replaced by a  deliberate, conscious and self-directed review of life from the  multilevel perspective. This level marks the emergence of “the third  factor,” described by Dabrowski as an autonomous factor “of conscious choice (valuation) by which one affirms or rejects certain qualities in oneself and in one’s environment”  (Dabrowski, 1972, p. 306). The person consciously reviews his or her  existing belief system and tries to replace his or her lower, automatic  views and reactions with carefully thought-out, examined and chosen  ideals. These “new” values will increasingly be reflected in the  person’s behavior. Behaviour becomes  less reactive, less automatic, and more deliberate as behavioral choices  fall under the influence of the person’s higher, chosen ideals.

One’s social orientation comes to reflect a deep responsibility based on both intellectual and emotional factors.  At the highest levels, “individuals of this kind feel responsible for  the realization of justice and for the protection of others against harm  and injustice. Their feelings of responsibility extend almost to  everything” (Dabrowski, 1973, p. 97). This perspective results  from seeing life in relation to one’s hierarchy of values (the  multilevel view) and the subsequent appreciation of the potential of how  life could be, and ought to be, lived. One’s disagreements with the (lower level) world are expressed compassionately in doing what one can to help achieve the “ought.” 

Given  their genuine (authentic) pro-social outlook, those individuals  achieving higher development would also raise the level of their  society. “Pro-social” here is not just support of the existing social order.  If the social order is “lower” and you are adjusted to it, then you  also reflect the lower (“negative adjustment” in Dabrowski’s terms, a  Level I feature). Here, pro-social is a genuine cultivation of social  interactions based on higher values. These positions often conflict with  the status quo of a lower society (“positive maladjustment’). In other words, to be maladjusted to a low level society is a positive feature.The  fifth level displays an integrated and harmonious character, but one  vastly different from that at the first level. At this highest level,  one’s behavior is guided by conscious, carefully weighed decisions based  upon an individualized and chosen hierarchy of personal values. Behaviour conforms to this inner standard of how life “ought” to be lived and thus, little inner conflict arises in one’s life.

Creative expression and the accomplishments of the gifted find their most individual expression at Levels IV and V. Especially at Level V, problem solving and art come to represent the  highest and noblest features of human life. Art captures the inner most  emotional states and is based upon a deep empathy and understanding of  the subject. Often human suffering and sacrifice are the subjects of  these works. Truly visionary works, works that are unique and novel, are  created by individuals expressing a vision unrestrained by convention.  Advances in society, through politics, philosophy, and religion are  therefore commonly associated with strong individual creativity or  accomplishments. 

Applications of the Theory of Positive Disintegration 

The  Theory of Positive Disintegration (TPD) has an extremely broad scope  and has implications for many areas. One central application applies to  psychological and psychiatric diagnosis and treatment. Dabrowski  advocated a comprehensive, multilevel diagnosis of the person’s  situation, including his or her symptoms and his or her developmental  potentials. If the disintegration appears to fit into a developmental  context, then the person is educated in the theory and encouraged to  take a developmental view of his or her situation and experiences. Rather  than trying to eliminate symptoms, they are re-framed to yield insight  and understanding into life and the person’s unique situation.Dabrowski  illustrated his theory in the autobiographies of, and biographies  about, those who have experienced positive disintegration and he  encouraged autobiography as a step in the process of autopsychotherapy.  For Dabrowski, the goal of therapy is  to eliminate the therapist by providing a context within which a person  could understand and help him or herself. The  gifted child, or the suicidal teen, or the troubled artist is often  experiencing the features of the TPD and if they accept and understand  the meaning of their feelings and crises, they can move ahead, not fall  apart. 

A second primary focus is on education, and in  particular, on the experience of creative or gifted students. Dabrowski  hypothesized that these students will disproportionately show strong  overexcitability and therefore will be prone to the disintegrative  process.

Dabrowski and the Gifted Individual

In  an appendix to Dabrowski (1967), results of investigations done in 1962  with Polish youth are reported (see note four). Specifically, “a group  of gifted children and young people, aged 8 to 23′ were examined  (Dabrowski, 1967, p. 251). Of the 80 youth studied, 30 were  “intellectually gifted” and 50 were from “drama, ballet, and plastic art  schools'(Dabrowski, 1967, p. 251). Dabrowski found that “every one” of  the children displayed overexcitability, “which constituted the  foundation for the emergence of neurotic and psychoneurotic sets.  Moreover it turned out that these children also showed sets of  nervousness, neurosis, and psychoneurosis of various kinds and  intensities, from light vegetative symptoms, or anxiety symptoms, to  distinctly and highly intensive psychasthenic or hysterical sets”  (Dabrowski, 1967, p. 253). Dabrowski asked why these children should  display such “states of nervousness or psychoneurosis” and suggested  that it was due to the presence of OE (Dabrowski, 1967, p. 255).  “Probably the cause is more than average sensitivity which not only  permits one to achieve outstanding results in learning and work, but at  the same time increases the number of points sensitive to all  experiences that may accelerate anomalous reactions revealing themselves  in psychoneurotic sets’ (Dabrowski, 1967, p. 255).

Dabrowski was  always very cautious about the implications of high IQ. He said that  the overall developmental profile is critical. By definition, a person  with a high IQ would display increased developmental potential as  special abilities are a component of developmental potential. However,  Dabrowski described a type of development he called one-sided. In  one-sided development, a person may have very significant talents or  abilities in one area but does not display an overall balanced  developmental profile. This is a treacherous scenario as without a  balanced profile, the enhanced qualities may be used to pursue lower  ends. For example, an individual with  high IQ and low emotions and low morality may use their intelligence to achieve a selfish agenda and become another tyrant.

The  association between OE and giftedness appears to be borne out in the  research (Lysy & Piechowski, 1983; Piechowski, 1986; Piechowski,  & Miller, 1995). It appears that at the least OE is a marker of  potential for gifted / creativity. The basic message of Dabrowski is  that the gifted will disproportionately display this process of positive  disintegration and personality growth.

The Environment and the Gifted

Today,  the importance of the interaction of the individual with the  environment is well recognized. “From infancy onwards, genetic  individuality helps to steer the developing organism through the  multitude of possible [environmental] experiences and choices”leading to  a “nature via nurture” position (Bouchard, Lykken, McGue, Segal, &  Tellegen, 1990). In this view, the dynamic interaction is an important  factor and the effect that the individual has on shaping his or her  experience is recognized. Dabrowski suggested that “there are very few people among us who are consciously independent of the external environment” (Dabrowski,  1967, p. 12). Most people generally take what the environment gives  them for granted and the interactive components play out their dynamics  on an unconscious stage: Dabrowski’s second factor. How  we live largely depends on what happens to us and our behavior is  largely reactive and unconscious. Once positive disintegration begins,  this changes. A person’s “relation to his environment becomes more and  more conscious, clear, and determined. He selects from it elements on  which he places value. He becomes more independent,” gradually moving toward third factor (Dabrowski, 1964, pp. 61-62).

The  presence of OE increases the significance of the role played by the  person-environment interaction. As a person’s confidence in his or her  developing personality becomes stronger, one comes to choose his or her  environment more consciously, deciding what in the environment to  respond to and how. While rejection of unacceptable environmental  features may cause further developmental conflict, it is also an  important aspect of the emerging autonomous personality. As development proceeds, the environment shapes the person less while the person shapes the environment more. Opinion on the ideal environment for the gifted is divided into two  basic themes. One is a stress-free setting where things are as positive,  accepting and pressureless as possible — the “bullish  environment”(Sternberg & Lubart, 1995). The other approach is called  the “bearish environment” (Sternberg & Lubart, 1995). Here,  obstacles arise that challenge the individual. Successfully mastering  these obstacles strengthens the character and abilities of the person. Sternberg reviews these positions and concludes that “it helps to have a  generally favorable environment sprinkled with some obstacles along the  way” (Sternberg & Lubart, 1995, p. 256). However, in Dabrowski’s  theory, this dichotomy does not reflect the real complexity involved in  understanding creativity. For Dabrowski, several critical elements are  involved, including the physiological reaction of the individual to the  environment (OE), the dynamic interplay of the person with the  environment, and any resultant conflicts and disintegrations that arise.

Dabrowski  emphasized the role of environmental events would be most important  when genetic dispositions are equivocal. When genetic potentials are  strong, environment plays less of a role. Dabrowski said “the worst environment will not stop the strongest genetics, the best environment cannot overcome the worst genetics” (K. Dabrowski, personal communication, 1978).

Developmental Potential: A Mixed Blessing? 

Dabrowski  called OE “a tragic gift” to reflect that the road of the person with  strong OE is not a smooth or easy one (M. Rankel, personal  communication, April 6, 1996). Potentials to experience great highs are  also potentials to experience great lows. Similarly, potentials to  express great creativity simultaneously hold the likelihood of  experiencing a great deal of personal conflict and stress. This stress  both drives development and is a result of developmental conflicts, both  intrapsychic and social. Suicide is a significant risk in the acute  phases of this stress. The isolation often experienced by these young  people heightens the risks of self-harm (see note five). Dabrowski  advocated educating the person about OEs and the disintegrative process  to give them a context within which to understand their intense feelings  and needs. This context is a positive and developmental one. Dabrowski  suggested that individuals be given support in their efforts to develop  and find their own self-expression. To be out of step is encouraged and  seen as a feature of the overall developmental journey. Social  maladjustment is also encouraged, particularly when it is positive and  based on individually thought-out values. Young people who are seen as  “squares” because they prefer to study instead of partying are an  example. Many of these children have to “find and walk their own path”  often at the expense of fitting in with their social peers and even with  their families. 

Piechowski, and subsequently Silverman,  have begun the process of measuring OE in the gifted (see note six).  These are important first steps in applying a Dabrowskian approach to  the gifted. Other exciting avenues have begun, for example, efforts to  counsel the gifted to help them see their overexcitabilities and  disintegrations as positive features (Ogburn-Colangelo, 1979).

Conclusion

It  is beyond this paper to explore Dabrowski’s theory fully. The central  point is that Dabrowski saw the gifted as a special subset of people, a  subset prone to experience positive disintegration. This opportunity  presents both creative possibilities and risks to the developing self.  If the individual fails to navigate these risks, a sad outcome of  underachievement, addiction or suicide is possible. To avoid this,  Dabrowski advocated providing a supportive and encouraging environment.  Additionally, he suggested the individual be provided with the  developmental context of positive disintegration. We cannot ease the  experience of OEs or the literal pain of development. Still, we can and  must give it context and shepherd our gifted youth through the height of  their developmental crises. Individual creativity and expression of talent must be valued as an expression of higher personality development. 

Note:
Dabrowski’s description of Level I as “psychopathic” reflects an earlier definition of the term: one that emphasized  individual factors (genetic features as opposed to social factors) that  act to impede a person’s developmental course. This  broad usage encompasses both malignant criminals and upstanding  citizens who blindly and uncritically follow every social precept. This has created controversy and confusion in the theory as Dabrowski said that most of society’s members live on Level I (see Dabrowski, 1964, pp. 4-10). Other authors have introduced the term “robopath” to  describe the “unauthentic life” based on a robot-like reaction to life (Bertalanffy, 1967; Yablonsky, 1972). Bertalanffy (1967) was critical  of psychology’s approach to the human as a lab rat. He extended his  criticism to society and the structure of modern life that demands  “reaching optimal psychosocial equilibrium by answering outside demands  in reinforced responses” (Bertalanffy, 1967, p. 9). Bertalanffy lamented  that people were losing their autonomy  in a stimulus-response society, a society where an individual does not  need to reflect or to think but merely to respond, a society geared to  meeting external performance standards as measures of success. Yablonsky (1972) uses the term robopath “to describe people whose pathology entails robot-like behavior and existence. Robopaths have what Kierkegaard called ‘sickness unto death’” (Yablonsky, 1972, p. 7). Yablonsky says that robopaths  are “socially dead” and function based on ‘pseudo-image” they are  egocentric and lack compassion for others. ‘Their existential state is  ahuman” (Yablonsky, 1972, p. 7). Yablonsky elaborates how our modern society encourages “the emergence of robopathology.”Also  relevant is Rieber (1997) and his views on the “normalized psychopathy”  of todays culture.  These descriptions, especially Bertalanffy’s and  Rieber’s, appear to apply to a person who follows precepts uncritically  and who simply “follows orders” in living life — Dabrowski’s idea of  the second factor….Self-harm is a common feature of those with high developmental  potential and the central risk during the height of developmental crises  (Dabrowski, 1937).

Original Article: Positive Disintegration

12 Natural Tips for Optimal Body and Mind (9 Require NO MONEY)

The health market is a BIG business and some companies prioritize money over your health. Why spend money on your health when you can achieve better results for free?

healthy-life

The health market is a BIG business and some companies prioritize money over your health. Nutritional supplements, over-prescribed pharmaceutical drugs, fad diet groups, high-end personal trainers, books based on a small amount of information, multiple doctor visits – I could go on, but I think you get the point. I am not dismissing the benefits of spending SOME money to achieve greater health. Our health is important, but choosing between being healthy and paying your bills doesn’t have to be the case.

Below is a list of 12 ideas to optimize your health, and only 3 of them actually require spending any money (roughly $5 dollars).

1) Sleep

Catching ZZZ’s is first on the list, not because it is the most obvious, but it’s what most people take for granted. Sleep rejuvenates the body by assisting with energy supplies, coordination, muscle repair, skin health, immune system functioning and the balancing of hormones. We know the average person requires 7-9 hours of sleep a night and if you sleep 6 hours a night the average person will function with only 50% of their mental capabilities. With current statistics stating only 60% of people sleep over 7 hours at night on a regular basis, it’s amusing to imagine almost half the population moseying around half-awake. Well, I suppose this would make sense if you are a people watcher like me.

2) Breathing Exercises 

By exercising your lungs with the 4-7-8 breathing technique, you are teaching yourself to breathe in a quality way. The theory is by forcing certain breathing techniques on the voluntary nervous system, you can positively boost the involuntary nervous system. With shallow breathing, air can remain in the tissues of the lungs and become stale, keeping fresh oxygen from finding its way into the bloodstream affecting sleep, stress levels, anxiety, food cravings, mental alertness, energy levels and mood.

3) Drink Enough Water – When & How Counts 

Drinking enough water lowers your risk for certain types of cancers, helps to fight infections, helps get rid of bodily toxins by flushing them out, aids in skin health, helps to lose weight, prevents joint pain and arthritis and boost energy. How much water should you drink? Divide your weight by 2 – this is how many ounces of water you need to drink a day. For example, a 150lb. person requires 75 ounces a day at the very least for optimal body functioning. How and when you drink water make can further optimize your health. Drink 2-3 glasses of water before eating your first meal of the day for better digestion for the entire day. Drink 1 glass of water before each meal. Never drink cold water after having a meal – this will solidify the oils and slow digestion. Japanese and Chinese people drink hot tea with their food for good reason.

4) Neck Gravity Traction Exercise

The multiple times my mother told me to sit up straight or you will get a hump neck was for more reasons than just the physical change. The nerves in our neck, collarbones, between the ribs and through our core can become impinged, lessening their ability to relay signals between the brain and body. This can affect our energy levels, reaction times, speech, breathing capacity and circulation – which can lead to numerous health concerns over time. Inversion tables have become popular for alignment and decompressing the spine, but not everyone has the spare cash to buy one. There is a free equivalent that will help decompress the spine and correct the posture. All you need it a bed or table. The towel in the picture is optional. Lay down on your back with your head hanging off the end. You will need to adjust to your comfort levels, but try to hang off just enough where you feel the pull coming from the lower end of your spine. Do this every day for at least 5 minutes at a time.

neck

5) Organic Unfiltered Apple Cider Vinegar

ACV is popular amongst the natural health community for weight loss assistance, killing bad bacteria in the body, lowering blood sugar for diabetics, assisting in heart health and helping to prevent cancer. Many of the claims made about ACV are not yet supported by science, but from personal experience this is an item everyone needs in their kitchen. Apple Cider Vinegar was one of the 2 ingredients used to heal my gallbladder naturally to avoid surgery to remove it after I was told by 3 doctors I will never be pain free until I remove my gallbladder. It’s been almost a year of being pain free, but that is not my only personal story with ACV. I randomly read on the internet that ACV can help with food poisoning. Of course, a few weeks later I went to dinner with some friends and we were fed some chicken completely pink in the middle. I guzzled some ACV as soon as I got home and I was the only one of us not sick for days or throwing up. Maybe I was lucky or maybe I have a super power in the form of anti-food poisoning ability, but I put my money on the ACV.

6) High Intensity Interval Training

HIIT is the #1 fitness trend in world according to American College of Sports worldwide survey. The reason for its popularity is due to its alternating high and low intervals that boost the metabolism for 48 hours after each workout. For a person looking to maintain their health, you only need to work out 2x a week in 15 minute intervals if you do High Intensity Interval Training.

7) Turn OFF Wi-Fi and Cellphone While Sleeping

The radiofrequency (RF) from wireless tablets, laptops and phones interrupt all 5 of our brain waves and it disrupts DNA repair. Three of our brain waves –alpha, theta, and delta – involve sleep and dreams. To add to the multiple benefits of good sleep listed in #1, some experts believe that dreaming is actually some kind of clearing-out process. More sleep researchers think that dreams serve the function of helping to reorganize and store psychological information taken in during the day. Want to learn why Radiofrequency (RF) radiation is currently classified by the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) and the World Health Organization (WHO) as a Group 2B carcinogen? Read this: Can Wi-Fi and Cell Phones Cause Cancer?

8) Chia Seeds 

Chia seeds deliver a massive amount of nutrients in small servings. I suppose this is why the Mayans named this seed “Chia” which translates as “Strength”. They are high in antioxidants, fiber, protein, calcium, manganese, magnesium, phosphorus and Omega 3(EPA/ALA). This inexpensive superfood is known to help with heart health, blood sugar levels and weight loss.

9) 24-hour Fasting

According to the website the Lean Look, occasional 24-hour fasts are remarkably beneficial because after you’ve fasted for about 18 hours your body releases human growth hormone, which allows the body to burn fat and maintain muscle. This means you have six hours of accelerated fat-burning. To add, the cleansing of the internal organs slows aging, regulates blood sugar, regulates digestion, eliminates waste, trains the body to burn fat and assists with food cravings. For those looking to make the most out of a fast, by eliminating a normal part of your routine for a day like eating, your brain could be forced into a more conscious state. I personally do my best problem solving and creative thinking while fasting. Tip: Add Apple Cider Vinegar to all the water you drink. Not only will it help your body by further cleansing the organs, the sour taste somehow helps with the hunger pains you will have in the first few fasts.

10) Make Healthy Meals in Bulk

One of the more common reasons people will choose an unhealthy meal is due to time constrictions. Our lives are busy! Dedicate one day a week to make healthy meals in large amounts, separate them into single portions or family sizes and then freeze them. This way you will have a quick, easy meal to make during the week when you know it’s hard to cook.

11) Dandelion Root Tea 

There is a long list of benefits associated with Dandelion Root Tea including reducing inflammation and lower high blood pressure, but it is mostly known as being a healthier replacement for coffee. Dandelion Root does not have the same instant affect as coffee, but this incredible liver cleanser assists with increasing natural energy production by clearing out the junk the body accumulates that makes us feel sluggish.

12) Review Your Top 5 

The previous suggestions are directly related to your bodily health. This suggestion is about your psychological health and how it can manifest into your bodily health through stress. A stressful lifestyle plays a large role in failing health. Reviewing your top 5 is crucial to achieving all your goals including your desire to achieve better health. Your top 5 are the people in your life you spend the most time with. Maybe you spend most your time with the same 3 people or the same 8 people. The amount is not the point, it is the message. For visual illustration, imagine you are a fish swimming in a stream with your family of other fish. When you are swimming with the current, all is pleasant with your family. Occasionally, you run across a little waterfall or current where you all collectively bite into a branch to sail the stream together making sure your fellow fishy family is safe and not pulled away by the obstacle. These little moments of team work and genuine care for one another makes it possible to continue to stay together when you float into the larger waterfalls quickly with little warning. In fact, sometimes you look back and wonder how you all made it out unscathed. Maybe it’s the love or maybe it’s the teamwork. Now, what if our fellow fishies were not this genuinely caring or supportive. Sometimes, the little currents might seem like large waterfalls if you all keep swimming over and into each other. After a few obstacles, you will learn that most currents you will ride alone and the waterfalls you will dread, but when you all are smooth sailing at least you will have someone to talk to again even if you secretly want to tear their fins off. In summary, keeping good company helps us to tackle all of life’s diversity with greater ease as well as propelling us forward to achieve greater feats than we could otherwise do alone.

“I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.” 

― Jon Katz

3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Look For Love

When we find ourselves in repeated scenarios in relationships, the universe is stirring the psyche by sending us lesson after lesson to initiate an awareness of the pattern that resides within us.

Broken-Heart-Backgrounds-Wallpaper

We all come across multiple scenarios of repeated similar outcomes in our lives even outside of love. The job promotion you deserve always seems to go the next person. In social gatherings, people talk over you, ignore you or use you as a verbal punching bag. Abusive people gravitate to you as if you were wearing a welcome sign “Please come here repressed people!”

When we find ourselves in repeated scenarios in relationships, the universe is stirring the psyche by sending us lesson after lesson to initiate an awareness of the pattern that resides within us.
The powers that be are asking us to PAY ATTENTION by dealing some major emotional blows.
The quick fix solution is to convince yourself that the blame lies with the other person. This can work the first few times, but after a while even the slightest touch will easily open these wounds. The trend is the scenario + outcome but the players are different. It becomes a cyclic pattern. A cycle.
These cycles require more than reading a book or an article to end. To understand your patterns, you must do the work from deep within. You must dig deep down to your core.
These suggestions below are for the person who is fed up but also aware that you can only change yourself. There is something holding you back from achieving the love you want in your life and this awareness is the first step to a new life path to your happily ever after!
Please keep in mind these suggestions should be applied to your own reality.
1. DO YOU HAVE UNRESOLVED OR UNACKNOWLEDGED CHILDHOOD CONDITIONING THAT PREVIOUSLY HINDERED YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?
Often deeply felt pains stem from an early life conditioning that can come from the most innocent of choices. These are the hardest to target since the reasons are less apparent than the obvious negative experiences like neglect or abuse, but still they are important for you to understand in order to lift these relational blocks.
One of the more common choices made in earlier parenting generations that can have an effect on future love relationships is the popular phrase, “If you have nothing nice to say, then do not say anything at all.” If used as intended, the phrase was useful in response to bullying or the like. In many cases, it taught us to hide all feelings deemed negative. Without a healthy release of anger, frustration or sadness, a child soon grows into an adult who retains this belief that anything negative is bad. This adult believes these feelings should be shunned and not felt.
I have been in relationships where I was afraid to communicate my needs out of fear of appearing negative, needy or too emotional. I didn’t have much practice expressing my deeper feelings in my early life, but pretending your feelings do not exist only leads to disaster. Eventually walls and resentment will be built between you and your loved one leading you to only allow your ego or mask to be in the relationship by hiding your true feelings as well as your true self. To form a strong connection, you need to embody your true self or your lover will only know the role you play.
It is healthy to share your feelings. It is healthy to state your needs. It’s healthy to be vulnerable.
Make sure to set reasonable goals. If you have never been able to speak of your negatively viewed feelings freely, do not expect this to be something you can do with ease overnight. It might take months to years to get to a point of speaking without fears.
Enlist the help of your love, or potential love, by letting them in on your personal behavioral modification goals. Their awareness, patience and understanding can really help you supercharge the full understanding of these hurdles. Plus, it could be bonding to heal together!
If you lost a relationship, please understand that every situation and relationship failure happened for your personal benefit, so you can strive to correct them and do better next time.
2. ARE YOU LACKING A SUPPORTIVE TALK THERAPY OUTLET OR NOT UTILIZING A PERSONAL JOURNAL TO ORGANIZE YOUR THOUGHTS?
In the TV series Nashville, when Scarlett O’Conner consulted the doctor of Deacon Claybourne about Deacon’s lack of interest and motivation to heal his liver cancer with all mean necessary, the doctor responded with a term that rings true. He mentioned that Scarlett was being a “positive bully”. A positive bully is a person who is so positive with their energy and words they can shift the natural balance of thoughts in the person who is in the midst of a personal struggle to focus solely on their negative thoughts.
As in all things, there is a balance. Every person must feel hope in their success and a realism of their situation. Speak freely without fear. I am in no way saying it is a bad to offer a person your best intentions by expressing positivity when your dear loved one is down. By all means, this is not a bad reaction! It is a beautiful gift to your friend. If you notice you are constantly talking to your friend about a repetitive scenario, then maybe consider what is being said here.
The most common response, especially amongst women, when listening to the woes of a friend we respond with the utmost of positive, uplifting words. “You will find mister right! He was a jerk! You are 100% in the right and he is 100% in the wrong!” The problem with this scenario is these unrealistic responses often leave us in a standstill. The best way to describe this feeling is there is something wanting to come out, but you can’t quite figure out what it is. Feeling like it’s all your EX’s fault sure does feel good though!
The purpose of consulting trusted friends or family is to vent your feelings and to seek their counsel since they can offer an objective viewpoint to your situation leading you to alternate perspectives to process mentally and emotionally.
For those of us that are introverted, journaling is a wonderful option! I find journaling more beneficial than just meditating since the process of writing or typing can help direct the thoughts and you can save it then review your personal progress or to discover trends you might forget or otherwise not see until it is compiled.
3. DO YOU FEEL DISCOURAGEMENT OR LACK OF TRUST IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
This suggestion is the most important so turn your brain on full learning capacity!
For every women, in the unconscious mind, lives an archetype of a male personality called the Animus. For every man, in the unconscious mind, lives an archetype of a female personality called the Anima.
The Anima and Animus, in the Carl Jung’s school of Analytical Psychology, are part of the collective unconscious and true self of every person. These archetypes are affected, for good or bad, by a compilation of important figures in our life consisting of mother, father, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, teachers, coaches, etc. These perceptions formed by the important role models in your life, dictate our interactions and attitudes with the opposite sex. If the women in your early life were ball busters, you will subconsciously prepare for women to ball bust! If the men in your early life chose ball games and beer over, well anything really, then you will become accustom to thinking men don’t prioritize their lovers.
The natural thought process of gender generalizing will subconsciously initiate the law of attraction by sending your thoughts into the universe where it will manifests into your reality. It could also be called a self-fulfilling prophesy.
According to Jungian psychology’s individuation process, the transforming of one’s psyche by bringing the personal and collective unconscious into the conscious, if confronting one’s shadow self is an apprenticeship then confronting one’s anima/animus is a masterpiece.
We are evolving in a way where we can each embrace having a beautifully unique blend of feminine and masculine energies. The struggle is to find your soul mate, twin flame, soul equal or any other name you choose to call “The ONE” who compliments your personally unique energies.
Above all, keep in mind personal growth is freeing, but to get there we might have to get messy along the way.
The universe rewards those who do the soul work.