Brainwashing; the Neuroscience of Racism

We are living in an alarming time in the United States with a drastic increase in cop killings and an abnormally high amount of murders of ‘Unarmed’ black men by cops. We are hearing of strategic ambushes to kill policemen whose goal is to protect and serve. We are hearing of black southern churches being burned down, black people hunted down to kill by a new emerging KKK group and young black children are being shot for reasons we understand to be as normal, rebellious behavior in white teen boys.

Right now, you are being fed the cop vs. criminal subliminal narrative in media, specifically “white cop” & “black criminal”.

Is this polarizing the American people?

We are living in an alarming time in the United States with a drastic increase in cop killings and an abnormally high amount of murders of ‘Unarmed’ black men by cops.  We are hearing of strategic ambushes to kill policemen whose goal is to protect and serve. We are hearing of black southern churches being burned down, black people hunted down to kill by a new emerging KKK group and young black children are being shot for reasons we understand to be as normal, rebellious behavior in white teen boys.

For a long time, I have sat back and observed. I have research and learned as much as I can to decipher what it is WE are missing here.

What are WE over-looking?

The problem with many media outlets is a juicy story trumps responsible reporting. Online news sites count on our emotional reactions to their stories because they get paid when you click on their sites.  They purposefully title their articles with generational trigger words like “murder”, “white cop” & “black man” so it will explode in views, shares and likes. Many articles are biased and target human emotions by persuading us to join a side and smear the other, because those articles entice heavy debates and enforce the convictions of polarizing groups.  Ironically, most people tend to gravitate to the side they support without seeking a well-rounded perspective because validation is more important than truth for the ego.

There are no bad groups of people.

There are bad individuals who belong to a stereotyped group.

You can care about everyone.

We should care about everyone!

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But, is there more to it?

According to neuroscientist & educator Daniel Do, our belief of free will is an illusion. Yes, you read that correctly – an illusion!  Neuroscientists can predict at any given moment, seconds before you do it, any of your basic action decisions just by looking at how your brain is firing on a brain image computer.  Soon enough, the technology to predict major thought processes, such as obsessing over your love life, will be possible to predict as well.

“Free will cannot be grounded in logic, science or experience.  We can logically reduce that it is incompatible with the laws of physics.  Experimentally verify that choice is a product of unconscious neurological processes. Observe through careful introspection that your sense of control is an illusion.”  Daniel Do’s video, Free Will is an Illusion is provided below for those seeking more information on this truth bomb.

 

In summary, our choices and thoughts are a product of experience and what we allow to be programmed into our minds.  If you program love, forgiveness, acceptance, and gratitude, and continue to program this into your mind, your choices will fire love, forgiveness, acceptance and gratitude.  An original thought leading to an original choice is rare!  Hence, the importance of seeking higher education continuously – learning should not stop when you leave school.  This results in a stagnation of thinking and choice options.  The more you learn, the more well-rounded your perspective, the better choices you can make.  It’s that simple. Essentially, a criminal is only a victim of their programming, their upbringing. This is why I support rehabilitation over imprisonment, but that is for another article.

So, how does this information, the illusion of free will, apply to racism?

Right now, we are continuously being fed the cop vs. criminal subliminal narrative in media, specifically “white cop” & “black criminal” or “corrupt cop” & “innocent black lives”. This polarizing story line has been a part of our culture for centuries, and passed down from our parents and grandparents, as slave owner vs. slave, whites vs. blacks, good  vs. bad, institution vs. individual, light vs. dark, pure vs. evil, the list goes on……

For those who have achieved apathy, non-caring, it’s like being forced to watch the same episode of Vampire Diaries over and over again, you begin to hate the show and its characters and you feel disgust & repulsed with anything in likeness.

These violent scenarios play out in movies & TV which further desensitizes us to the issue in reality. The majority of Americans are watching “race wars” play on their local news stations, they offer a few judgments, then they change the channel as if they just watched an episode of staged reality TV. There was a time when Americans were active and responsible in speaking out for the wrongdoings in their country. But, the masses are annoyed with the narrative and you can see it in the immediate reactions that step right over empathy, slowly graze reasoning, pass action & responsibility and land right into apathy.  Media is robbing us of caring and replacing it with extremists thoughts of numbness, hate or distrust.

When was the last time you sat in reflection of how you unconsciously react to black people? When you see a black person, do you hold your purse tighter?  Pull your children closer?  Walk the other direction?  Assume they have a criminal record?  Many White Americans are desensitized to the feelings of Black Americans due to media’s repeated barrage of black people as criminals.  White people struggle with separating any black individual from their racially profiled group unless proven “one of the good ones”.  Don’t believe me?  Just YouTube the many videos that show how people react to black people for doing everyday activities, like sitting next to them while waiting for the bus or standing next to a black person in the grocery store line. (A video is provided below)

But, we have no issues separating ourselves from other white people!

The majority of mass shootings are from white males, does that make all white males murderers?  No.

90% of murderers are male, does that make all men murderers? No.

Then, why are black people so heavily stereotyped as “bad” or inhuman?

It’s because we are trained to view black people this way through fictional characters and selective media stories & pictures where media strategically picks the most thuggish looking photo they can find!

The “new” Republican Party is masterful in its ability to manipulate white racial animus and resentment against African-Americans and other people of color to serve its agenda. During the 1970s and 1980s, the Republican Party developed what came to be known as “the Southern Strategy” where by giving poverty a black and brown face, exaggerating black criminality, and playing on white fears of “affirmative action” and “reverse racism”, they would be able to win over white male working class voters across the Midwest and Northeast, as well as white Southerners.

By distorting and misrepresenting crime and poverty as cultural pathologies exclusive to black Americans, the White Right and the Republican Party are able to attack a broad range of social safety net programs such as support for poor children, food assistance programs, unemployment insurance, and the broader idea that there should be federal assistance and aid for Americans in their time of economic hardship. Cuts to these programs are in turn used to subsidize global corporations that outsource American jobs, destroy the middle class, and give further tax cuts to the plutocrats and the 1 percent.

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In the past, cops have always been displayed as heroes in movies like in the old westerns. The American Police are now being programmed in media, within the last few decades, as collectively narcissistic, macho, corrupt, trigger happy racists. This is simply not true. When was the last time you saw a heroic police story make a wave through the media like the more recent cop brutality narratives?  Policing is not working for police, just as it is not working for us. That is the fault of the institution, not most cops as an individual. They are taught to protect us with violence and fear, passed down from generation to generation. They have always been taught to protect the innocents, no matter what!

Cops need de-escalating training, training on how to handle the mentally ill, very basic medical training, regular mental evaluations, to not fear being fired for calling out another cop for poor policing due to office politics, they need body cams, dash cams, proper incident data procedure to protect themselves in impossible situations with legit criminals and they need our patience & support in the meantime. The police are always a reflection of the times and they will always be a few steps behind the most idealist pioneering activists.

To those who want to take down the police, all these cop ambush killings are senseless – an honest person who dedicated their life to protecting your life, is lost!  For what? Somehow, my spidey-senses are telling me that young black men were pushed to violence so this narrative that the rich have been spinning for centuries would actualize and validate martial law.  Do not play into the narrative!

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White racial paranoiac thinking excuse-makes for and legitimates the repeated killing of unarmed black people by America’s police and other such abuses. But, the militarization of police, the rise of the surveillance society, and how thug cops routinely abuse and violate the civil rights of the public (usually without any consequences) should be a concern for all Americans—this is especially true for white people because in absolute numbers they are the ones subjected to the most police violence.”

It is almost as if cops are purposefully offered limited training to feed the white cop vs. black criminal narrative that keeps Americans at odds with one another so we avoid seeing the larger picture here.  Cops need to be able to do their job well and black people deserve to be safe and thriving in our country.

What can we do to reverse the narrative we are living in? 

  • Now is the time to contact your local district rep and make sure they are instilling body cams and collecting police shooting data.
  • Contact your local police and express your concerns about recent events in the states and see if they are offering de-escalating technique training to their officers.
  • Hold your local police & district rep accountable for your city’s safety!
  • Educate yourself on how to minimize your chances of being an “incident” statistic.
  • Open up the conversation with adults and teach your children early.
  • Re-program your unconscious mind with various perspectives and higher learning.
  • Begin new trends of love, forgiveness, gratitude and acceptance.
  • Reflect regularly on your unconscious habits, behaviors, thoughts and feelings.
  • Limit your exposure to violence from all sources, especially in movies, TV & video games.
  • Hold yourself accountable!  Be an example for others to follow.
  • If you have other ideas, please add them in the comment section below.

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More importantly, be aware of the pattern that promotes race wars.  This is an old manipulative tactic:

During the 17th century, race and Whiteness in America were created in the crucible known as “Bacon’s Rebellion.” White and black indentured servants and other laborers were united together in common interest against the landed elite. But, white elites were able to utilize the tactic of divide and conquer by granting white indentured servants land, guns, and money at the end of their term of service. This elevated poor whites over their former black allies because the same white elites in turn mandated that chattel slavery was a permanent and unique type of punishment and servitude exclusive to black people.

In the South, 1892, Populist leaders tried to rally both white and black farmers against white bankers and others elites who held them economically hostage. But again, the manipulation of white racial animus and anxiety helped to break the movement as white elites used terrorism and white supremacist appeals to break the intraracial alliances at the heart of the Populist movement.

During the 1950s & 1960s, Dr. Martin Luther King’s radically democratic and inclusive vision for improving American society would meet great resistance when he turned his attention to racism and white supremacy in America’s northern cities. White northerners were very resistant to his efforts to expand fair housing and to end segregation. The media and political elites turned on Dr. King, where by the time of his death he was viewed by white Americans as one of the country’s most unpopular public figures.

Dr. King’s broadly humanistic and radical vision would have improved the lives of white and working class—and yes, even middle class—Americans across the colorline. But, white racial resentment and hostility to his dream cut short the full potential of the Civil Rights Movement as what some historians have come to describe as a type of third American founding and rebirth.”

It’s about time Americans change our narrative with conscious actions and concern for all.

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Here is some data I have collected that I feel is important to know:

“Although black men make up only 6 percent of the U.S. population, they account for 40 percent of the UNARMED men shot to death by police this year.”

“Most often, white police officers killing unarmed black men — represent less than 4 percent of fatal police shootings.”

“Many chiefs say the cameras boost public confidence in the police, but most departments do not yet use them. About 6 percent of fatal shootings this year were captured by body cameras, according to The Post’s database.”

“The landscape of police shootings is surprisingly thinly explored. The FBI is charged with keeping statistics on such shootings, but a Post analysis of FBI data showed that fewer than half of the nation’s 18,000 police departments report their incidents to the agency.”

“The FBI will replace its current program with a “near real-time” database to be made public by 2017, said Stephen L. Morris, a senior FBI official whose division is responsible for collecting crime data.”

“The Post’s database shows that nearly 1 in 3 shootings that result from a car chase start with a traffic stop for a minor infraction.”

“Officers fatally shot at least 243 people with mental health problems: 75 who were explicitly suicidal and 168 for whom police or family members confirmed a history of mental illness.”

“The analysis found that about 9 in 10 of the mentally troubled people were armed, usually with guns but also with knives or other sharp objects. But the analysis also found that most of them died at the hands of police officers who had not been trained to deal with the mentally ill.”

“The Post found that an average of five officers per year have been indicted on felony charges over the previous decade; this year, 18 officers have been charged with felonies including murder, manslaughter and reckless discharge of a firearm.”

“The number of police officers shot and killed in the USA is 44% higher than at this time last year following the Dallas ambush.”

“The deaths of four Dallas police officers and one Dallas transit officer from sniper fire during a protest in the city Thursday raised the national total of firearm deaths among police to 26. This compares with 18 at this point in time in 2015, said Nick Breul, director of research for the fund in Washington, D.C.

Breul said it was also the latest of 11 ambushes of police officers so far this year across the country, already outpacing the eight ambushes of law enforcement that occurred last year.”

 

http://www.joincampaignzero.org/#action

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/investigative/wp/2015/12/26/2015/12/26/a-year-of-reckoning-police-fatally-shoot-nearly-1000/

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2016/07/08/nationwide-police-shooting-deaths/86861082/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/08/06/this-is-what-white-people-can-do-to-support-blacklivesmatter/?postshare=961467928399935&tid=ss_fb

http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/27/us/mass-shootings/

http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/murderous-scam-white-elites-have-perpetrated-blacks-and-whites-least-4-centuries

http://wagingnonviolence.org/feature/policing-isnt-working-for-cops-either/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Young Americans Are Giving Up on Capitalism

You do not need a survey to ascertain the plight of American youth. You can look at their bank accounts, at the jobs they have, at the jobs their parents have lost, at the debt they hold, at the opportunities they covet but are denied. You do not need jargon or ideology to form a case against the status quo. The clearest indictment of the status quo is the status quo itself.

Should we really be surprised that young people are rejecting the economic status quo?

Imagine that you’re twenty years old. You were born in 1996. You were five years old on 9/11. For as long as you can remember, the United States has been at war.

When you are twelve, in 2008, the global economy collapses. After years of bluster and bravado from President George W. Bush — who encouraged consumerism as a response to terror — it seems your country was weaker than you thought.  In America, the bottom falls out fast.The adults who take care of you struggle to take care of themselves. Perhaps your parent loses a job. Perhaps your family loses its home.

In 2009, politicians claim the recession is over, but your hardship is not. Wages are stagnant or falling. The costs of health care, child care, and tuition continue to rise exponentially. Full-time jobs turn into contract positions while benefits are slashed. Middle-class jobs are replaced with low-paying service work. The expectations of American life your parents had when you were born — that a “long boom” will bring about unparalleled prosperity — crumble away.

Baby boomers tell you there is a way out: a college education has always been the key to a good job. But that doesn’t seem to happen anymore. The college graduates you know are drowning in student debt, working for minimum wage, or toiling in unpaid internships. Prestigious jobs are increasinglyclustered in cities where rent has tripled or quadrupled in a decade’s time. You cannot afford to move, and you cannot afford to stay. Outside these cities, newly abandoned malls join long abandoned factories. You inhabit a landscape of ruin. There is nothing left for you.

click here to continue reading:   Why Young Americans Are Giving Up on Capitalism — Foreign Policy

Empathy and Weight Gain

In the “spiritual community” there’s a permeating false idea floating around that to be spiritual means to look like a supermodel. Maybe it’s the frenzy with social media spirituality (who’s the most popular and 100% raw?!), but it seems our societal obsession with perfection has lead us to believe that if we don’t look a certain way, we’re just not spiritual enough (as if women need one more thing to feel guilty about)

Some of the most tuned-in, loving, wise, altruistic people I know carry a few extra pounds. Many of my clients who have extreme empathic/psychic abilities almost universally struggle with weight gain and/or health issues. This is due to the way their body translates the energy of others around them.

Revealed: Why We Are ALL Abusers, Why We Are ALL Victims

In every personal relationship we will form throughout our lives, there will be a victim and an abuser. The abuser will push and expect this person (the victim) to do what they have always known as the right thing to do until the victim accepts it as truth. Then this victim now becomes the abuser in another tale.

When I speak of the role of an abuser, remember we are ALL abusers and we are ALL victims.

How can this be?

Since the day you were born, people have abused you.  People have taken from you the deepest, most treasured parts of your being.  Even the people who love you the most in this world have abused you, but they have no knowledge or awareness of this. They have no idea they are abusing you because they too were abused since the day they were born – they do not know any better.  In every personal relationship we will form throughout our lives, there will be a victim and an abuser. The abuser will push and expect this person (the victim) to do what they have always known as the right thing to do until the victim accepts it as truth.  Then this victim now becomes the abuser in another tale.

When I speak of the role of an abuser, remember we are ALL abusers and we are ALL victims.

How can this be?   Well, from here you will need a flexible mind and a strong heart.  If you do not have one or either, I forgive you for calling me the crazy lady who has no idea what she is speaking about.

FB-Betty-Ann-baby-TattoosFrom the moment you took your first breath into this world, this might be the truest moment of your life. You were greeted into this world as the miracle you are – so full of wonder and mystery. You knew nothing but the connection to your mother in her womb.  You felt her heart beat, you felt how every emotion changed this beat to race faster or calm in a soothing rhythm. You felt her sadness when she wept during a sad scene in a romance movie or how she cried out in heartbreak in the aftermath of a verbal argument with your father.   You felt her happiness when she picked out your new bedspread with safari animals or how giddy she felt to see the little socks with penguins on the sides she will put on your feet. These “things” that caused emotions in your mother weren’t real for you in the womb.  What was real for you were the emotions you shared with her – the happiness, the sadness, the anger and the love.  

When you exit the womb and enter your new reality, you will slowly start to realize that people understand emotions differently.  Emotions are unstable and irrational according to the grown adult.  You must learn to control your emotions.  To know how to control your emotions well at an adult age, you must learn to control them at a very young age.  f8f89-crying-baby

Within the next few months, we will start to get upset when you cry for us.  It will make us frantic and stressed out.   We don’t know what you want since the only form of communication we know is verbal.   We do not know that every little being is born with a unique way to communicate with emotions, because we don’t use those anymore to form major decisions.  Adults use their thoughts – our mind.   We do not know that crying means you are sad, uncomfortable or need something and that you have created a different type of crying for each to help us understand.  We do not know that you create little cues with every emotion you have, all the same emotions your mother shared with you in the womb, to help us understand what you need.   We only know control.  So in an attempt to train you to control your emotions we will start sleep training you.  This is called Cry It Out in the adult world.   From here, you will learn to cry until you fall asleep.  We will not come for you until you are done.   We adults have no idea that we pushed away your emotions.  We have no idea that we invalidated your emotions and your attempts to communicate with us.  We had no idea that we abused you. changing_pieces_of_autism_040912

You will grow up and every time you use your emotions to communicate with us, we will feel frantic.  We only know control. We will put you in time-out until you learn to control your emotions. We will spank you until you learn to control your emotions because we had no idea that you were acting out for attention because you are in pain.  We do not know you are in pain because we won’t listen, but still we will lecture and yell at you until you control your emotions.  We will continue to invalidate your emotions and your attempts to tell us something that is important to you.  These little problems seem small to us, but to you they are very big!  We had no idea this feels like abuse to you. 

As you enter school and start to form friendships with the kids in school, you will soon realize that the cycle continues.  You will start to feel this unspoken emotional war of whose parents or adult caregivers emotionally invalidated which child the most because this child will look like a bully to you.  In school, you will share with your peers the abuse you were shown by your parents or adult caregivers.  This will be some of the most traumatic times for you because unlike your family these people do not always love you.  They can come from groups of people or they can come all at one time.  You never know!  So, it makes you feel on edge. Broken-Heart-Backgrounds-Wallpaper

You will adopt whatever you learn as a young child growing into a teenager in your adult life.   You will feel a lack of trust for most people maybe even your own parents though sometimes the reasons won’t make sense to you.  Most everyone will have to earn a place in your life as being someone who does not stir your emotions because if they do, you will not know what to do with them and it will take time for you to recover.  You may struggle in love relationships with people because you find it hard to form a close connection with someone due to how hard it is to remain vulnerable.   Sometimes, communicating your feelings will give you anxiety so to make sense of it all you will over-think or over-analyze your emotions.  Most of the time you will not trust your own emotions so you will seek the opinions or emotional validation of your friends who will most likely tell you this person you are dating is an abusive asshole if he is a man or a psychotic bitch if she is a woman.  You might find a nice person to settle down with eventually who is within your emotional comfort zone and plan a life together.  Maybe you will have kids! Then, you can show them all the control and emotional invalidating tactics the ENTIRE world has shown you your whole life. Wouldn’t that be grand? 

Now that I am off my storyteller’s box and slapping myself in the face for that last sarcastic bit, let’s get to the juicy stuff.  Why has our culture forsaken emotions?   We can say for certain that it is culturally conditioned.  Most everyone views emotions as irrational and something that needs to be controlled.  It is more rational to let your mind make all the major decisions, right?

Emotions are the key to what is wrong with today. Today is a world of violence, war, dissention, segregation, hate, fear, loneliness, power, greed and control.  Yes, we are intellectual and science has offered us many new discoveries, but this is not due to forsaking emotions.  Forsaking emotions is what created the world of today.

Lovers-imageWhat is the most ultimate emotion?  The most powerful?  Love.   I bet most people agree it is love.  Thoughts and intelligence come from the mind while emotions and love come from the heart.  As a culture, have we cut off our hearts and the entire part of ourselves below the head and mind?  Is this why we can poison our food, destroy our earth, kill trees, pollute the air, medicate with unnatural sources – because we do not value our body which holds our heart because we are cut off from it?

Charles Bukowski said, “An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way, an artist says a hard thing in a simple way.”  You can interpret this quote many ways, but what stands out to me is that we will never fix our world’s problems with our mind – our intellect.  We will fix our world’s problems like an artist does, by letting our emotions go free.  In this instance, we can fix our problems by embracing our hearts and by embracing love.

Healing the heart can lead to larger personal spiritual growth.  Every time you pay attention to a triggered emotion of anger, sadness or pain this serves as a cue for you to pay attention.  This is where you need to heal.  We have become used to using pain medications like drugs, alcohol or literal prescribed drugs to deal with our pain, suppress it.  When you validate your own emotions, you will discover that every negative emotion is tied to a place in your heart that was forced to break off so you can continue to live on mostly uninterrupted.  Some people call this heartbreak, but the shaman calls this soul loss.  To heal your soul and reconnect with your heart, you must validate your emotions and allow the pain to surface.  Pull the pain into the light and heal it. Calling back the lost parts of your soul is like putting together your heart to be strong and beautifully vulnerable again.

When love becomes the conductor of your life, meaning love always has the final say in your choices and the mind works only as a trusted advisor to the heart to create your actions, there would be less and less of our current reality – less hate, less cruelty, less war. This is because love connects us to one another.  Love breaks down all the walls you have built to protect your heart from pain and suffering.  Love helps us notice other people and feel what they feel.  Love validates emotions and heals the heart.  People who have freed their heart have a power to spread love and happiness that truly heals this world.

You might be thinking how can I, one person, make that kind of change?  That is impossible!

good-karma-300x166Let me paint you a picture of a reality where you use your heart to make 1 decision:  You are in the grocery line behind a family who is pulling out every coupon for every item in their purse.  The children are tired and hungry, but the mom has a worried face because she sees she does not have enough money.  She starts to put things back.  You have a small amount of money in your account, but it is all you have. You trust you will be ok until your next paycheck and your heart is calling out to this family right now. You pull out your card and pay for the rest of her groceries.  She cries a little because she sees the kindness you shared with her, the heartfelt moment, and the money didn’t matter as much to her as the fact you cared – that you noticed her struggle.  The clerk and the few people surrounding you witnessed that moment and it made their heart open just a bit more.  It made them think “Wow there really are good people in this world.” One person posted about it on Facebook which inspired a few dozen kind acts, one person told her mom’s group which inspired a few more dozen acts.  Those acts inspired more acts and more acts.  

It is this trickling affect that is addictive, but in a good addictive way.  And, it starts from only 1 kind act with a loving intention.  Most of us are lacking true kindness and love in our world – in our reality.  When you witness it or are part of it yourself, you will want more!   It feels so energetic like putting a fire in your soul where it was once quiet.  Yet, the act did not put the fire there.  The fire already existed.   The loving act just lit the fire.

There is a lot to think about and absorb here.  What are your thoughts on this?

Mental Healing – Is Your Physical Illness in Your Mind and Can You Self-Heal?

There is little time spent on some the more important factors to healing from an illness. We hear phrases such as “Watch your stress levels”, “Pay attention to your lifestyle”, “Watch what you eat”, and “Exercise regularly”, but how are all these things connected to one another? And, why are these things more important than popping a pill?

The idea of wholeness, holistic healing, is often considered bunk, outrageous and new age-y. In truth, a wholeness approach to healing should be at the foundation of every person’s life and western medicine should be an advanced practice for additional support – not as a replacement to our whole body functionality.

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The idea of self-healing is a rather foreign concept for most westerners.  The first reaction of many modern day people is to visit a doctor when they feel ill, especially Americans.  It’s no secret that most modern day doctors are heavily influenced by sales reps and the government to administer un-natural prescribed medicines that have a longer list of negative side effects than benefits to the user.   Then, the user needs another pill to counteract the side effects from the pill they originally need to take to help one health issues that causes even more health issues.

There is little time spent on some the more important factors to healing from an illness.  We hear phrases such as “Watch your stress levels”, “Pay attention to your lifestyle”, “Watch what you eat”, and “Exercise regularly”, but how are all these things connected to one another?  And, why are these things more important than popping a pill?

The idea of wholeness, holistic healing, is often considered bunk, outrageous and new age-y.   In truth, a wholeness approach to healing should be at the foundation of every person’s life and western medicine should be an advanced practice for additional support – not as a replacement to our whole body functionality.

Let’s return back to the questions above – these are statements we hear often, but how do we achieve such advice?   One of the unique gifts of being a human being in comparison to other species on earth is our ability to visualize the future and create our own realities.  In some cases, the vision we have for ourselves is truer than who we are today.  The vision you have for yourself today creates the person you are tomorrow.

When a person loves life – life breaths love into the person.  This person is filled with healing energy – love, compassion, connection to others.   When a person hates life – life creates a slow death.

One of my favorite quotes from Lao Tzu says, “At birth, people are soft and yielding.  At death, they are hard and stiff.  All green plants are tender and yielding.  At death, they are dry and brittle.  When hard and rigid, we consort with death.  When soft and flexible, we affirm greater life.” (TaoTeChing76)

What does that mean?  Well, I can tell you now that it is the opposite of what most of us are taught.  We are taught to be these strong people from the inside out, firm in our beliefs and attachments.  A soft heart is a weakness.  A tough mind is ideal.  Never be vulnerable.  Control all your emotions.  Our way of living is often handed down from our parents or institutions who say we must do these things in order:  get a stable job, get married, have kids, work your entire life and save for retirement.   Also, get your fun out while you are young since adulthood is all about business!  It’s no wonder people do not want to grow up!  That sounds far from fun!  Maybe for some people it is, but for the majority of people I imagine most thinking “I wish I traveled more”, “I wish I let myself love more”, and “I wish I followed my dreams”

So, what is the secret?  The goal is to life in wholeness.  Embrace all of yourself.   We must affirm a greater life – inside and outside.   You must help your mind, body and spirit connect by creating a conduit for self-healing energy.

It has been proven time and time again that people can worsen their health with stress, worry and anxiety.  People can also heal themselves with a placebo pill just with faith alone – the belief of it working.

How do you begin with self-healing?  Well, it begins within your Heart-Mind connection.

The purpose of forming a stronger heart-mind connection is to really tackle the issue of letting lower emotions such as anger, worrying, anxiety and depression take over your life and consume your entire being.  It is natural to have these emotions, but they should be felt and flow through you by being processed accordingly.

If these feelings persist, they take energy – the energy that you need for your own self-healing.   When you successfully align your mind-heart, you will notice a larger abundance of self-healing energy by shifting through all the unnecessary negative energy you have been holding onto for years – even decades.

Here are some ways to increase your Heart-Mind connection:

  • Tell Your Mind to Move Over and Make Room For Your Heart.

It is no secret that most people value intelligence over emotions and the mind over the heart.  The heart is irrational and sometimes makes no sense.

To remedy this we let the mind become our conductor to life by keeping emotions in check – pushing them away.  The truth is feelings and emotions are NEVER wrong.

We are obsessed with having our emotions validated by others to know if they are right or wrong.  Emotions are always right.  They are always right because they serve us as cues to what we need to heal or what needs our attention.

If you have an emotional trigger reaction to when someone does something, this is your cue to figure out why.  How deep or far back does it go?  When you understand the source of your emotional trigger, you can heal it and eliminate it so the next time you are in the same situation you will respond with more awareness or most likely catch it before it even happens.

This is how the heart becomes your conductor and the mind becomes a trusted advisor by creating the heart-mind connection.  Both serve a purpose.

Imagine the roles of a traditional male-female couple.  The woman behind the man helps him to understand his motives and his purpose, helps him heal his past by being a safe haven to the outside world, she is there for him through thick and thin.  He then protects his woman physically, emotionally and spiritually, and then carries out his mission-purpose to the outside world.  Their relationship is priority above all.

This is the traditional masculine-feminine principle, but these 2 energies live in both men and women.  Modern day couples tend to struggle with roles in relationships, but it could be remedied when both people understand how they each are energetically matched.

It is hard when both man & woman are mainly feminine or mainly masculine in energy.  A feminine man and masculine woman can have a very successful love relationship.   Each partner being balanced in masculine & feminine can also work well even if it’s harder to define the roles.

  • Discover Your True Purpose – Your Essence.

This cannot be achieved unless #1 is complete.  Your essence cannot be found within the mind.  It is found within the heart.  The mind is only your advisor on how to visualize your purpose and make it a reality.

There are signs and methods to discover your purpose in life:

1) You can list all the things that come naturally to you since childhood.  Maybe they morphed into something different as an adult such as a natural inclination for rhythms like in dancing, singing or a playing music, but as an adult you are just a music lover.

2) You have an odd fear attached to something like performance anxiety or public speaking.  You always want to speak up in your philosophical club, but you are too scared of how your odd views will be taken.   This is a cue that you should be sharing more of what scares you most.

3)It is something that has nagged you your entire life.  You have always wanted to build orphanages in other countries, but you cannot find out how to practically do it so you write it off as impossible for you – maybe someone else.

The solution?  Discover your true purpose and break down your walls that keep your from it.

  • Break Down Your Walls.

There are multiple people residing in every person.

1) There is the child who is full of wonder, no limits to their potential and is completely vulnerable.  This is usually the time in a person’s life where people are most themselves – as a child.

2) The person you are today who is normally full of multiple influences from childhood and times within their life that teach certain conditioning that convinces them to operate from the ego.

3)The person you will become due to your current mindset and/or visualization power of the future you.

The current self needs to visit all the other people within you – the child and the vision.

Once you have targeted your purpose with the help of you heart-mind connection, you can now target what keeps you from being your true self by visiting your past self.

By using the emotional triggers explained in #1 you can begin shifting through what needs healing so that it no longer controls your destiny or gets in the way of you achieving your destiny.

When you do this, you can then place more time into the vision of yourself without wasting time going in wrong directions.  Understanding your past is no easy feat.  This requires a lot of forgiveness, support and extra learning.

  • Actualize Your True Self.

Now that you have done the ground work to form your connections to your heart, discover your essence, and break down your barriers, you can now be yourself.  Your true self.

This is not a step I can guide you through since this is your own destiny and you are the only one who has the answers.   However, I do wish you luck with your journey!

If you stumble along the way, make sure to set up systems to get yourself back on track.  Create a village of supportive friends, have a journal with all your goals and thoughts to refer to occasionally, create a dream board, etc.

Once you have reached this level, you will understand that you can visualize yourself being healthy and your body will respond with a blend of positive action and belief.

At this point, you might be asking yourself “why can’t I just eat right and workout?”  Quick answer – you can.  Some people do this with much success, but normally these people enjoy both and it helps them to create positive self-healing energy.  This is not the case for everyone.   Some people require a wider, higher degree in the holistic healing approach.

What are your thoughts on the idea we can self-heal?

Why You Really Suffer in Love Relationships

It has happened to the best of us – we find ourselves completely lost in a love relationship with a miscommunication between our heart and mind. The heart wants to love deeply no matter the circumstances and the mind says “Run while you can!” Questioning yourself and your partner with puzzles like “where did I go wrong?”, “what is different? “, and “what can I do to change things?” The love was there. We both felt it! It was undeniable! So, what is the missing ingredient to every relationship that often eludes people?

Lovers-image

It has happened to the best of us – we find ourselves completely lost in a love relationship with a miscommunication between our heart and mind.  The heart wants to love deeply no matter the circumstances and the mind says “Run while you can!” Logic and emotion do not blend most of the time.

If you are anything like me, you find yourself stuck in “over-analyzing” mode.   Questioning yourself and your partner with puzzles like “where did I go wrong?”, “what is different? “, and “what can I do to change things?”  The love was there.  We both felt it!  It was undeniable!

This is a place I have been multiple times in my life.  Sometimes, it takes many mistakes, lessons and lost loves to really understand why it didn’t work.

Over time, I have come to the realization that no matter how much baggage you let go of to be vulnerable in love or how much soul work you do to make sure your heart & mind are ready for love, there is still something missing that is out of your control in a mutual love relationship.

So, what is the missing ingredient to every relationship that often eludes people?  It’s the timing.

Timing – where each person is at this stage in their life.  Timing can include a multitude of factors such as how many life lessons has each partner learned where they will not bring past pains and hurts into the current love relationships?   How emotionally mature and ready is each partner?   Has each person learned enough about love to be receptive to it and to give it equally back?  Do both people want a serious relationship right now or does one of them need to spend more time on him or her first?

Knowing this one ingredient to love, the timing, really can change a person’s perspective.   Your ex-lover is most likely not an evil, bipolar, selfish, emotionally disconnected mess of a man just as much as you were not this unstable, needy, psychotic, overly sensitive, time consuming person.   We have come up with all these textbook words to describe people such as narcissist, sociopath, psychopath, etc., but maybe they truly aren’t.  Maybe we all struggle with being selfish and becoming detached.  When love is there, but it cannot thrive in its environment, people become the worst versions of themselves.   It becomes an emotional stink pot of tainted love.

I am a strong believer in the idea that everyone is genuinely a good-hearted person just trying to make their way and find their voice in this world.  We come along many people who appear to not care for us, hurt us, abuse and abandon us to sort through a mess of emotions on our own.

After many lost loves of my own, I have come to grow in awareness to the fact with the right mind set I can turn these pains into wisdom or as a tool for my personal growth.  At the very least, it is a way to recognize my triggers – the things in this life that trigger extreme negative emotions that require internal awareness and healing.   When you can reach this mind-set, you come to an epiphany moment – you yourself have hurt many people who only wanted to love you in your past when you were the one who wasn’t in good timing for a real relationship.

I had a relationship with this man – we only dated for roughly 2 months.   The love was most definitely there!   He was the first person I had ever met who very easily saw me, the real me, and it scared me enough to activate my fight or flight response.  I started doing things I had never done before just to detach back into my comfort zone, but I had no self-awareness as to why I was doing it at the time.  As a woman who has been in a few relationships where she felt used and emotionally abused by men, I had no idea I was even capable of playing the opposite role.  Years later, I contact this past love and tried to make amends for my actions.  His response was one I had felt myself many times before – when you try to be cool, but really the wound still exists even if it is closed and my mere presence rubbed it open again.

Back to my main point, the cycle of bad timing.  Each and everyone one of us has played their own part as both victim and abuser, but really if the timing was good – maybe it would have been different.

What are your thoughts on this?

What Everyone Should Know About Love and The Masculine Principle

Having a true romantic and spiritual relationship that is fueled with love is one of the many wonders of this modern day world.

Having a true romantic and spiritual relationship that is fueled with love is one of the many wonders of this modern day world.

If you are anything like me, you were raised in a broken family with little to no example of what real love looks like. Your parents or caregivers busted their butts to keep the house maintained and to live securely with food on the table.  One parent or both parents were away from home most the time and too exhausted for much else when the family was together.  There wasn’t much time for love or even knowledge of connecting to love and eventually you become witness to a dying marriage.

Because of this, online relationship experts are in high demand these days. Marriage has upgraded from 2 people of the opposite sex needing each other to run a home, carry on the family name with children and to provide for them financially, to being married for love alone. Now, men can take care of their own homes with modern appliances, cook their own food with easy make meals and it is socially acceptable to have female friends or date to fill those needs of feminine energy.  Women can be successful in the business world and take care of their own financial and security needs while also maintaining relationships, plutonic or romantic, to fill their needs of masculine energy.

There is no need to get hitched, tie the knot, unless it is for loving commitment.

So, what is the problem?

Most people really do want to find that one person, who really loves them and “gets” them, but the problem is – men do not understand women and women do not understand men.

We look to experts to teach us how to have the relationship we want – to find the man or woman of their dreams!  When a current relationship isn’t going the way we want, we look for advice and insights from coaches who can help us get what we want.  If we don’t get it, we jump on another dating site and find someone else to repeat the cycle.

How do you end the cycle?  Maybe this video from Bryan Reeves will shine some light on your struggle.

21 Life Lessons Learned from Adversity I Wish My Younger Self Knew

Maturity of the heart and mind does not come with age. Instead, it develops by overcoming diversity in life with acceptance of the hardships faced or by attacking your challenges head on. We live in a culture where most people stop growing in maturity after they receive a college degree or the age of adulthood. They think they know everything they need to know and halt furthering their education.

Maturity of the heart and mind does not come with age.  Instead, it develops by overcoming diversity in life with acceptance of the hardships faced or by attacking your challenges head on.  We live in a culture where most people stop growing in maturity after they receive a college degree or reach the age of adulthood.  They think they know everything they need to know and halt furthering their education, but the wise know life is constantly teaching those who are willing to learn.

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Journaling has always been therapeutic for me.  In fact, my finished journals have a large shelf space of their own.  I thought to myself, how cool would it be for my daughters to read about their mother and our lives together when they are older – especially while they are young and have little memory of this time.  For this reason, I consistently write about our day together and the new developments within our lives as well as my own personal development.  Yet, I sit here at my computer thinking – I have some words of wisdom to share for others along with my daughters, as I am sure most everyone does that has experienced enough pain transmuted into life lessons.   Every person has something to teach whether it is acknowledged or indirect and I hope this article with inspire a few people to document their hard earned wisdom.

For now, here is what I have to share with the world and I am sure there is much more to come:

  • In the western culture, youth is too glorified and the status of the wise elder is undervalued.
  • To pick up and process the deeper emotional details of any given situation suggests a kind of mastery of self and life that is a rarity in this world.
  • When the mind is quiet, the soul can speak loud enough for the mind to hear.
  • Love does not need to be reciprocated to be beautiful. Just the experience of feeling love for another person is beautiful enough.
  • Every once in a while, you meet a person you know you were destined to meet. Their mere presence in your life helps you understand you are not as whole as you once thought.
  • Some dreams are too late to achieve, but with creativity and intention you can transform your original dream into a new dream that offers you equal, if not more, inner fulfillment.
  • If I could do it over again, I would follow my dream.
  • There is such a thing as being too late or losing a once in a lifetime love. In a world, where people are content with sexually passionate, exciting or comfortable love for the rest of their lives, they will never know the feeling of a true spiritual connection where the coming together of two loving souls on this physical plane can create a wave of immense love so powerful everyone on the planet will benefit near and far.
  • A person immature in the ways of love, lacking the courage to be vulnerable and let love in whether it leads to bliss or heartbreak, cannot make space for others. Every relationship they maintain is full of past hurts, fear, defensiveness or selfishness.   Each and every time you forsake love, a part of your soul breaks off when the person leaves by choice or death instead of leaving a lasting memory of love that can fuel a lifetime.
  • A person who can love without conditions and expectations is truly free.
  • When a vindictive person takes charge, their actions are for their benefit alone. It does not matter if their decisions are made purposefully or blissfully unaware – the result is still a hung man.
  • If you take a regretted turn in life, do not look back in dismay. Instead, keep a watchful eye on the next journey life places before you.   The only way to find your way out of the mist is by looking forward and taking a step in a new direction.
  • Guidance is always offered in the ways you will receive it.
  • We create our own destiny. There is beauty and fault to this.  You are the only person to blame when things do not go your way.
  • Transformation and struggle surely go hand in hand.
  • I do not “think” with all my might towards my life’s purpose. I “feel” it from my heart’s center, my gut, my soul and even within my dreams.  My thoughts only devise the plans as a trusted advisor to my soul’s mission.
  • Limitations are for losers in life. I choose to think beyond my limitations in the realm of creative intelligence.
  • Life is a bumpy ride. You can close your eyes and hold on tight for dear life or you can let go of fear while embracing uncertainty.  The day you do this is when you come to realize you really are the painter of your own masterpiece – yourself.
  • Constant worrying of a bad situation takes up all your time and energy needed to discover your solution out of this mess.
  • Speak with care for words have impact larger than physical blows.
  • There are so many lost art forms in the world. The art of unconditional love.  The art of living your dreams.   The art of being your true self.  If you immerse yourself in certain forms of media or mainstream, you will see so much materialism, superficial love and money hungry people who question your “weirdness” that it will be near impossible for you to thrive.  This is why surrounding yourself with other free-spirited, open-hearted, awakened people is vital to your existence.

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7 Lesser Known Symptoms of Sleep Deprivation

Sleep deprivation is often an overlooked reason for many of our body’s mysterious symptoms. Obviously, no person purposefully aims to miss sleep hours, but we often underestimate how much a lacking hour here and there over an extended period of time can affect our body. Most people know of the more common symptoms of sleep deprivation. We know it hinders your mental focus and we know we can feel fatigue. There is a long list of lesser known symptoms that most people are unaware of. Be aware of these symptoms and see if you might suffer unknowingly from sleep deprivation.

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Sleep deprivation is often an overlooked reason for many of our body’s mysterious symptoms.   Obviously, no person purposefully aims to miss sleep hours, but we often underestimate how much a lacking hour here and there over an extended period of time can affect our body.  Most people know of the more common symptoms of sleep deprivation.  We know it hinders your mental focus and we know we can feel fatigue.  There is a long list of lesser known symptoms that most people are unaware of.  Be aware of these symptoms and see if you might suffer unknowingly from sleep deprivation.

7 Lesser Know Consequences of Sleep Deprivation: 

  • It Can Make You Look Older – Poor sleepers have increased signs of skin aging and slower recovery from a variety of environmental stressors, such as disruption of the skin barrier or ultraviolet (UV) radiation. They also tend to have dull skin and an overall worse facial appearance.  This increased aging is likely from reduced growth hormone and increased cortisol levels.  Beauty sleep has acquired its title for a legit reason!
  • You Will Want More High-Calorie Snacks – After one sleepless night, the brain’s frontal lobe will develop impaired activity. The frontal lobe governs complex decision making.  To add, the deeper brain’s center that responds to rewards will be increased.  In other words, it is more likely for you to struggle with eating healthy which could deter your weight loss goals – if you have any.
  • You And Your Spouse Will Fight More – Yes, I was surprised with this one too, but it is true! In multiple studies, scientists have learned that a lack of sleep can cause relationship issues.  After a bad night’s sleep a couple will more likely engage in unnecessary conflict.   Keep in mind it can also begin the other way around – you might have sleeping problems due to arguing.  Be cautious to not fall into this cycle.  It is hard to break.
  • You Will Feel More Aches and Pains – A lack of sleep can impair your natural pain control mechanisms and exacerbate those nagging aches and pains. Sleep problems can even increase your risk of developing fibromyalgia.  The opposite is also true – more sleep will reduce your pain sensitivity.
  • It Can Affect Your Dating Life – Chances are you have heard the term “Beer Goggles”. Sleep deprivation can produce something called “Insomnia Goggles”.  Because missing sleep hours can affect your frontal lobe and your ability to process complex decision making, you might have poor judgement in romantic situations such as judging how much a person is into you.  Is anyone else imagining a college frat guy with beer goggles and insomnia goggles – a recipe for very poor judgement?
  • Your Anxiety Will Worsen – After a few nights of improper sleep, your anticipatory anxiety could amplify by affecting regions associated with emotional processing. If your mood is low and your anxiety is high, consider the most natural antidepressant around – sleep therapy.
  • You Insulin Sensitivity Will Be Reduced – Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh discovered that teens who normally get 6 hours of sleep per night can improve their insulin resistance by 9% with adding 1 extra hour of sleep. Reduce your risk of Type 2 Diabetes by catching some extra ZZZ’s.

Source:  The Super-Charged Hormone Diet by Dr. Natasha Turner

12 Quotes to Prove that Sometimes, Being Lazy is the Only Way To Go

In a world that values the hustle bustle, high ambitions, getting your hands dirty and participating in the rat race, we often push aside the value of stillness and write it off as laziness. If you aren’t doing something actively “productive“ at all times – you are doing wrong! Being busy is too glorified in our culture. Great people from around the world and from different eras have offered some dissimilar insights into stillness – being lazy. I have gathered some of my favorite humorous and profound quotes to help create a new definition to the cultural perception of being lazy. Enjoy!

relax-blocksIn a world that values the hustle bustle, high ambitions, getting your hands dirty and participating in the rat race, we often push aside the value of stillness and write it off as laziness. If you aren’t doing something actively “productive“ at all times – you are doing wrong! Being busy is too glorified in our culture. Great people from around the world and from different eras have offered some dissimilar insights into stillness – being lazy. I have gathered some of my favorite humorous and profound quotes to help create a new definition to the cultural perception of being lazy. Enjoy!

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
-Bill Gates

“Be still. Stillness reveals the secrets of eternity”
-Lao Tzu

“To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing in the world, the most difficult and the most intellectual.” –Oscar Wilde

“Netflix is so much better than going out and pretending to like people.”
-Hussein Nishah

“I’ve heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?”
– Ronald Reagan

“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.”
-Jules Renard

“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.”
-Robert A. Heinlein

“I don’t think necessity is the mother of invention. Invention, in my opinion, arises directly from idleness, possibly also from laziness – to save oneself trouble.”
-Agatha Christie

“All of the biggest technological inventions created by man – the airplane, the automobile, the computer – says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness.”
-Mark Kennedy

“I never work just to work. It’s some combination of laziness and self-respect.”
-Harold Ramis

“A good work ethic is not so much a concern for hard work but rather one for responsibility. There have been a great many men and women who have in fact used work or hustle or selfish ambition as an escape from real responsibility, an escape from purpose. In matters such as these, the hard worker is just as dysfunctional as the sloth.”
-Criss Jami

“As spiritual searchers we need to become freer and freer of the attachment to our own smallness in which we get occupied with me-me-me. Pondering on large ideas or standing in front of things which remind us of a vast scale can free us from acquisitiveness and competitiveness and from our likes and dislikes. If we sit with an increasing stillness of the body and attune our mind to the sky or to the ocean or to the myriad stars at night, or any other indicators of vastness, the mind gradually stills and the heart is filled with quiet joy. Also recalling our own experiences in which we acted generously or with compassion for the simple delight of it without expectation of any gain can give us more confidence in the existence of a deeper goodness from which we may deviate.”
-Ravi Ravindra