Hammered into our minds is the idea that “mean goals” are more important than our “end goals”. Most of us have been taught a roundabout way of achieving our goals. A means to an end. To get what we want out of life, we need a high GPA, a college degree, a high level executive job, good reviews from our bosses, we need to marry a particular type of person and we need a whole lot of money. Life goals have been planned for most of us since before we could legally have an alcoholic drink.
The sad truth of living life with means goals is very few people experience their end goals in their later years as planned. Many people live their lives working to live until the next paycheck. The 3 most important questions to ask yourself are to help you recognize your end goals so you can live them today or in the near future.
These questions do not require deep thought. Actually, you should answer these questions for yourself quickly, 90 seconds for each question, so your logical mind shuts down and your true self can speak. Use a timer if you need to, but write what comes to mind without thinking about time and money restrictions. Most all of your goals are achievable if you take this seriously. Blowing fire through your nostrils probably won’t happen, but I am not one to limit anyone’s end goals. To each their own.
The 3 most important questions to ask yourself are:
1) What Do You Want to Experience? – Where would you like to travel? What do you want to see? Do you want children? Do you want to be married? Do you want to be self-employed? What are the experiences you see other people doing that causes envy in you? What experiences in life always seem to come back around as if you were meant to do it?
2) How Do You Want to Grow? – Would you like to be a better leader to others or improve your self-leadership? Would you like to improve your listening skills? Would you like to learn to be more assertive or proactive? Would you like to get over your fear of speaking your true feelings? Would you like to focus on your spiritual growth?
3) What Do You Want to Contribute? – What would you like to contribute to humanity? Would you like to be an inventor? Would you like to be a musician or a vocalist who brings a personalized touch of beauty into the world? Would you like to pay for your sibling’s college loans? Would you like to grow a community garden? Would you like to be a philanthropist? Would you like to be writer who shares knowledge or poetic words? Would you like to be a light hearted comedian or a comedian who uses comedy to touch on serious issues otherwise not spoken of in serious conversations? Would you like to be a teacher? This list could go on forever.
I am not suggesting you quit your job tomorrow and live doing exactly how you want ASAP. Obviously, life does not work that way for most people. The majority of us are working to put food on the table for our children or provide a place to lay our heads at night. However, you can make time to do some of the things on your list. With some creative thinking, planning and support, hopefully you can achieve all your goals.
You might be telling yourself, “Ok lady, this was a fun activity and all, but how do I make these end goals happen?” Well, I have another exercise for you. It’s called a dreamline.
– Look at your experiences, growth and contributions chart. Separate them into short term and long term goals. You are going to make at least 2 different charts. Here you will write down all your steps to achieve your goals. Write down what you will accomplish in a short term time frame such as 1 week, then continually keep up with your weekly to-do list.
– Make your long term goal list between 6 months to 1 year so that you understand your direction, but also close enough to reach. In my experience, goals that are long term such as 5-10 years down the line can often become a cause of frustration as our goal appears out of reach.
If you are like me, free time is somewhat scarce. Caring for a 3 year old and a 6 year old child, as a single mom, is hard work. Something that helped me to make time for my end goals is eliminating the things I do not need in my life.
Yes, it’s another exercise, but this one is equally as important as the others! I do this maybe 2x a year since I tend to accumulate busy work instead of efficient work, as we all do.
The Elimination Exercise:
1) On a sheet a paper, separate it into two columns.
2) On one side, write down which 20% of sources are causing 80% of my problems and unhappiness?
3) On the other side, write down which 20% of sources are resulting in 80% of my desired outcomes and happiness?
4) After looking over your two columns, can you eliminate or simplify the items in your negative column? When looking at your positive column, do you see trends you can use to help you make time for your goals or help you to achieve your goals in any way?
Good luck on your personal journey and please leave a comment if you would like to share your goals! Actually, please share your end goals! You most likely will inspire someone else!
“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-
“One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.”